Hmmm….this is a tough one, as I haven’t dated a Romanian in ages and, in any case, I can only provide a girl’s perspective. I would hazard myself by saying that Romanians are a bit macho, they usually don’t know how to treat a women, of course exceptions are accepted, they wait for the girl to do all the tough part in taking the initiative while playing the cold, indifferent bastard. Then again, this is not a Romanian characteristic, I have seen worse. If they are not playing the untouchable, they are awfully dependent, possessive and annoying. Romanian men, I have heard, are unfaithful, macho, liars, and treat their women as their own possessions. Distinctions and perspective must be kept in mind; this description does not necessarily include the urban, educated male always (photo from http://www.danheller.com/lovers.html).
Generally, Romanian man are not as attractive as Romanian women, this is a fact of life, verified by many enthusiastic foreigners coming in this country for the famously beautiful Romanian girls. I don’t know how is to date a Romanian girl, I have never tried, and those who dated me …..that is difficult to track down and take the confession out of them, which places me in a very good position here.
Well, distinctions must be made also, on age, education, background, big city, small city. In Bucharest, not many people care about dating anymore, the relationships are at loose; I think is not trendy anymore to have a girlfriend/boyfriend….and that will probably make a very interesting sociological investigation. You can still find good guys, but these are afraid to approach women genuinely and often girls are left out being approached by awfully boring, persistent types….because the boring, uninteresting ones are always persistent. What else? As mentioned before, I don’t know much about the Romanian man profile lately, as I wasn’t hanging with Romanian men much, or at least I didn’t find yet a truly intriguing one. I am also not into the ‘hunting foreigners’ typology, is just happened that I have been in love with a foreigner, and in the last few years I have travelled and met other people, so not much socializing with Romanian men in this context. I should add that, generally, Romanian men and women have a weakness for anything foreign; so if you are a foreign in Romania, that makes you exotic instantly and your chances to date –and more- are high. A friend of mine was complaining the other day that in Romania male are coming mostly looking for the attractive Romanian female, while exotic foreign women for the Romanian male rarely. What can I say?! Life sucks sometimes.
(animation from http://www.aaapostcards.com/cards/previews/26.gif)
ryan jewell said…
in all seriousness, i enjoy the blog. keep it up.
well, in my one experience dating a romanian woman…it was an absolute disaster. nothing but pain and suffering. i would venture that if i was a romanian man, i might be a little cold in the beginning as well if i went through that a couple of times.
19 September, 2006
Anonymous said…
WAIT!!!
Blatant generalization? Suggestive frustration? Topic driven tirade?
What is going on? Why have I become the casualty of three, digitally created, online paragraphs?
Before I begin
Buna Ziua! =)
My name is Justin and I (unwillingly admit) am Romanian.
I seem to have made a mistake. Well then again maybe I have not. Maybe someone has made the mistake for me and I am burdened with the resulting generalization. Sort of the like the first domino that knocks down all the rest. It didn’t mean to knock the rest down, but it did and now here we are. All the Romanian men dominos have fallen.
So,
Let me being, and I quote
“Romanian men, I have heard, are unfaithful, macho, liars, and treat their women as their own possessions.”
We most often trust our eyes as they are our favorite sense, then next our ears, followed by our sense of touch, then smell and finally taste. But even with these five senses we can never be sure that what we see is truly what it there. Ever seen a magic trick? Of course you haven’t, its actually just an illusion. But then again, you have heard of a magic trick where all Romanian men have magically become unfaithful, macho, liars and treat their women as their own possessions. Well reasonably speaking I would guess that maybe not ALL Romanian men have magically become jerks. It’s all just an illusion put on by one person (or maybe a few). Now I ask, are there some Romanian men who are jerks? Yes. Are there some who are not so mean? Yes. I think that what is true about Romanian men is true about all people.
“Then again, this is not a Romanian characteristic, I have seen worse.”
Are there really worse men out there then Romanians. I do not believe it. =)
“Generally, Romanian man are not as attractive as Romanian women, this is a fact of life…”
Interesting. And where, pray tell, are these fact written. I hadn’t realized that this particular one was truly a FACT of life. And if there are more, I would dearly love to know them. Apparently I have been unattractive. Or at the very least, not nearly as attractive as my female counterparts.
“Well, distinctions must be made also, on age, education, background, big city, small city.”
We should probably begin to generalize men by these categories too. =P
“You can still find good guys”
Now wait one second. This is starting to look like optimism.
….and finally….
“I didn’t find yet a truly intriguing one.”
Intriguing you should say that. What’s more intriguing is that you are looking for an intriguing one. And when you find him what shall you do with him. You might find that beyond all his intrigue there is a person. But then again, who’s looking for a person, we are just looking for intrigue.
Ok, I’m done.
Personally I think Romanian women are great, very smart and absolutely intriguing. Ok maybe not all Romanian women are, but this one is =).
Te pup, Pa
Justin
PS: nismosport@gmail.com
24 September, 2006
Anonymous said…
I am a foreign woman living in Romania, and I have to totally agree with your description of Romanian men. I have male Romanian friends and the way they act just make me roll my eyes.
I once had a bunch of Romanian guys explain to me that Westerns are hypocritical because we have secret affairs, whereas Romanians openly cheat without fear of consequences. They said it was more honest. My experience with Romanian men is that many have three or four girlfriends – one for sex, one for money, and one for love.
Now, this is from the male point of view. I was talking about this exact fact with some female Romanian friends and they point blank – “Of course all men cheat. If you don’t believe this, you are naivee.” I responded, “But surely your fathers didn’t cheat.” And they laughed and said, “But of course they did!” I asked whether they would accept this from their husbands and they said no, that they now live in a new generation.
I hope there are other people who think the same way.
26 September, 2006
Anonymous said…
I am a foreign woman living in Romania, and I have to totally agree with your description of Romanian men. I have male Romanian friends and the way they act just make me roll my eyes.
I once had a bunch of Romanian guys explain to me that Westerns are hypocritical because we have secret affairs, whereas Romanians openly cheat without fear of consequences. They said it was more honest. My experience with Romanian men is that many have three or four girlfriends – one for sex, one for money, and one for love.
Now, this is from the male point of view. I was talking about this exact fact with some female Romanian friends and they point blank – “Of course all men cheat. If you don’t believe this, you are naivee.” I responded, “But surely your fathers didn’t cheat.” And they laughed and said, “But of course they did!” I asked whether they would accept this from their husbands and they said no, that they now live in a new generation.
I hope there are other people who think the same way.
26 September, 2006
claudia darian said…
Actually, I only wrote this post to get the few attractive, intriguing Romanian males out there sending me their contact details…, which they did.
Justin, I enjoyed your comment very much and I appreciated your effort to take everything I’ve said piece by piece
03 October, 2006
claudia darian said…
In Romanian law of property, if you achieve a property, then you need to write your title in a special sophisticated register . In any case, this is public and anyone could consult it. The purpose for this register is that you could check whether anyone else has achieved the same property before and has any right over it, so that you don’t get cheated by the owner of the property. The same sort of register should be made available for all the men having 3 or 4 girlfriends at the time. It never happend to me yet, but I’ll find a way to kick his ass. Anyway, girls do that too, so there is equality of rights.
03 October, 2006
Brianna said…
Hi Claudia!
So glad that I found your blog.
I am an American sociology student. I spent this summer in Romania and I am very curious about the differences between the American marriage relationship and the Romanian marriage relationship. What is typical for Romanian courtship? Is there an engagement period? Do Romanians go on honeymoons and where do they go? Is divorce common? How many children do they typically have? Do Romanian men treat their wives well? Any insight into any of this would be appreciated.
thanks, Brianna
15 October, 2006
Anonymous said…
“I was talking about this exact fact with some female Romanian friends and they point blank – “Of course all men cheat. If you don’t believe this, you are naivee”.
HELLO!!! How old are you? They are right! Westerners don’t make it as known, but it happens lady! You really have to be naive to beleieve men and women don’t cheat. Especially in a country like Romania where 90% of the women are gorgeous and 99.9% of men are horny all day! Not to mention there are like 3 women to 1 man. Americans are way too uptight and conservative.
I am a female born and raised in the US. My dad is Romanian and my mom is Italian. I am married to a Romanian man because I did not find American men “intriguing” enough. They are bland and boring. My husband was the best thing that ever happened to me! He treats me like a princess,wouldn’t do anything to hurt me & he’s one of the hot men in Romania. So please don’t generalize about crap like this. You have cheaters, assholes and bitches on every corner of the planet. European men in general have “hot blood” and are very sexual. They’re Latin for crying out loud.
Brianna-
Romanians do get engaged, I don’t think there is a specific period…they will marry when they save enough money.
Do Romanians go on Honeymoons- Is this a serious question?!
Divorce is not as common as it is in the US, but today relationships are more popular than marriage.
Romanians typically have 2 children.
Romanian men treat their wives the way you let them treat you. Most are dominant but that doesn’t mean they are abusive or mean. A mans family & wife are number 1 in most cases. You do have the occassional loser who renounces his family for a young slut. But then again that happens all over the world.
19 October, 2006
Anonymous said…
By the way Justin….why do you “unwillingly admit” to being Romanian? You should be ashamed of yourself for saying something like that. You should be proud to be romanian. Sa-ti fie rusine!!
19 October, 2006
Anonymous said…
You, “female born and raised in the US” ……I’m so sorry – if your are living in US – how could you imagine a roumanian guy living in Roumania ? It must be not only on your dream … but the reality is totaly different … Please don’t compare US and East-Europe … americans men are stupid like Mr B… and roumanians are machos at 99,9 %. Your comments are too basic !
12 November, 2006
Anonymous said…
You, “female born and raised in the US” ……I’m so sorry – if your are living in US – how could you imagine a roumanian guy living in Roumania ? It must be not only on your dream … but the reality is totaly different … Please don’t compare US and East-Europe … americans men are stupid like Mr B… and roumanians are machos at 99,9 %. Your comments are too basic !
12 November, 2006
Justin said…
‘Rusine? Stai sa ma explic.’
Let me explain
“By the way Justin….why do you “unwillingly admit” to being Romanian? You should be ashamed of yourself for saying something like that. You should be proud to be romanian. Sa-ti fie rusine!!”
Pride and shame are two things too often endulged, too often accepted and much too often promoted. Neither serves as a good purpose, as the first is all destructive and the second is self destructive.
I really have no reason to be either ashamed or proud to be Romanian. I am happy to know good people and happier if they happen to be Romanain. Not that being Romanian is a prerequisite to being good, but I have a personal fondness for the people. I would say that I would prefer the company of a good person over the company of anyone else. And if they happen to be Romanian, all the better.
As for my unwilingness to admit. I was commenting on a post indirectly directed at me =). I am the Romanian male Claudia was talking about. And I unwillingly admited it (at length), despite my fear of reprisal from our host. So far, she has been very curteous. =)
15 November, 2006
Comment by dizzyggg — November 21, 2006 @ 2:43 am |
Anonymous said…
Just to comment on your blog (all blog, not only manthing): Somehow it is funny, also darn true. You know what is your problem ???? You do not forgive your self and the others. How the fuck (excuse me my male language) do you expect that romanians should be like US citizens or like Westerners when we lived 50 years in communism ???? Do you know that after aprox 17 years, in Estern Germany people still have half of the salary from Western Germany after all the investments and all ??? Is is so easy to point the finger and say they are like this and they are like that, do you rememeber how it was not to have electricity ? or current water ? or food in the fucking stores ? You all bith about how we are, and how we should be… It is like looking for Einstein in the Kalahary desert. We lived 50 years in communism in a society that treated us like animals, with poor food, with 2 hours of stupid TV per day if you remember, with CC of PCR, with blocks of flats that make Bucharest look worst then any european city. Now we ask ourselfs to be just like the people that lived the same period in a free society. We want to be just like them, to fell free, honnest… Don’t you think you are asking to much ???
I am not tring to find some excuse for romanians, but maybe we ask to much from ourselfs, maybe we just have to get over the denial, understand that we went trough a tragedy, get our acts together and do something about it. In case you do not know, close to Pitesti there was a prison for priests where the communists made them eat shit (litteraly). So fucking read before anything else
Honnestly I am so pissed when I see people like you. May I ask what do you do to change people around you ?
I am not giving you any e-mail adress, I did not write here to show that I am a smartass. I actually think YOU are the worst thing about this country. Couse you cand be as smart as hell and beautiful as the sunshine darling, if you do not understand and forgive, you are just as guitly as everyone else.
21 November, 2006
claudia darian said…
Hey, you do have a point, but don’t fucking talk to me like you have THE POINT – and yeah, excuse my male language, too.
I do know about Pitesti, I am from there and I have read Ierunca’s book when I was 16 in total shock. Our past cannot excuse our present all the time, so every now and then we do need to take a grip on reality. You too.
21 November, 2006
Comment by Darian — November 22, 2006 @ 1:47 am |
I shouldnt reply to this, but here it goes.
“Anonymous said…Just to comment on your blog”
I would be the first to criticize Claudia and rightfully so. Scroll up a bit and take note of the unecessarily long rebuke of this post. But out of fairness I would equally support her should the need arise.
I was born in Romania and lived through the communism. I remember the cold nights without electricity, the empty store shelves, the long lines for bread and milk. I remember the bitter cold and lack of electricity. I remember the rules, the control and the suppression. I know what it means to appreciate freedom and am working my ass off everyday as proof.
I did not become bitter because of how my family was treated. I do not go around making excuses for my lot. I dont blame this and that. There is no time for it. You on the other hand have plenty of time to excuse yourself. You were treated like an animal for 50 years afterall. How can anyone expect anything from you?
While I fault Claudia for her generalization, but I support her stance. People should behave better, men should act like men. And while I dont agree with her on this post, I agree with her intentions.
“excuse me my male language” You daft prick, your the person Claudia was generalizing about. Pick up your ego and put it aside. We all screw up and we should all try to do better. Even Romanians.
“May I ask what do you do to change people around you ?” Have you even botherd to read the rest of her blog?
Before you post consider thinking and try avoiding Argumentum Ad Hominem. Its just poor form.
Comment by Justin — November 22, 2006 @ 12:30 pm |
WOW! WOW!WOW!
Good and bad points, comments, sarcasm, witty insults and intellect demonstrated by all bloggers
An American male here. Have traveled Romania enough to grasp the concerns and truth emanated by all.
Personally, I have just ended a bittersweet & heartbreaking romance of two years with a now ex-fiancee’ (36 and she spent the last 10 years obtaining a PhD in the states…..poetry & English studies) who we both shared our lives, feelings and intimacy together however with ultimate chronic deceitfulness being discovered in the end (in our case due primarily to a inherent personality disorder…. Histrionic type…. if your interested). Occurs anywhere and everywhere and is one of many such afflictions to our species.
This background given just to inform the reader of the state of mind I have been in lately (highly fluctuant) and to precede the following statement after being left somewhat aghast and saddened despite many insightful and hopeful/optimistic statements which this forum has put forth.
Can we not all as human beings and societies after reviewing our own shortcomings, faults and inherent personality character faults (always and never ending to improve upon), strive to just “get along”, implement the “golden rule” and help one another in each others “needs” as they enter our lives and with our own capacity to do so lovingly & wisely?
You all seem to have such good hearts, Romanian or otherwise. Please let us be more kind to each other and curtail our opinions that ultimately may harm as it demeans all of our spirits otherwise in the end.
Kindly, and I hopefully pray not self-righteously, do I impose my thoughts
Brian
Comment by Brian — December 4, 2006 @ 12:26 pm |
Darian? Maybe you’ll take a look at my webpage at http://geocities.com/mhrehbach
You might be surprised that Australians and Germans aren’t any better than Romanians. I ended up on your blog looking for somewhere to move to. I like how you write etc
Maybe you’ll read what I’ve written.
Comment by markus — January 18, 2007 @ 6:33 am |
OKOK…
Well here i have it first hand.
Im an Australian girl living in Romania and i am in a 2 year reationship with my boyfriend who is ‘Romanian’. He is caring and giving beyond belief.
I have lived here in romania for 6 months now and have found it very hard to make friends and get by as im only 23 , but after all that has happened here we cant expect everything to change to easily!
I do hope it does soon …as Bucharest itself i find quite depressing , Generally the boys here seem to have one thing inmind ‘Bani’ . But when majority are only earning 400 ron a week and all the shopping centres are charging western prices , wouldnt you ???
They give ,give, give and are very wonderful people who in the past have been delt a bad hand .
Comment by lauren — January 26, 2007 @ 7:35 pm |
Lauren, thanks for your commentp. Very interesting; it should be easily though to make friends at your age, I know great people around.
Comment by Darian — January 26, 2007 @ 8:53 pm |
First time on this blog for me.
I’m very surprised by most of the comments to this post… I’m not sure this leads anywhere interesting and for this reason I wasn’t sure I should post a reply… but here’my experience :
I’m a French girl living and working in Bucuresti and like Lauren, in a 2 year relationship with a Romanian who IS caring, loving, exciting and intriguing and faithful too…
Again like Lauren, I’m 23 and I’ve been in Romania for almost 6 months. I’ve found the experience way more difficult than expected and it took me time to make friends but it is getting better now.
Here’s a piece I wrote some months ago about how it feels to be here…
In case you want to know.
I have been here for three months and it is still hard for me to draw a picture of Romania.
In comparison with France, it is more opposite than similar to it. If France is an easy country to like, I start to think Romania is difficult to get to know and even more to get to like. At least, this is true for Bucuresti. Maybe, the beautiful landscapes of the countryside would easily seduce me.
Seduction may be a key point in between Paris and Bucuresti.
Everybody somehow is quickly seduced by Paris. On the contrary, it seems Bucuresti does everything to stay as far as possible from anything that could be seductive : the first impression you get of the city is that it is dirty, polluted, the public transports are terrible, the roads and buildings are in a bad shape…
Bucuresti does not give itself at the first glance. It needs time and patience to get along with the city but at the end you get used to it. Then you start to discover lovely parks, forgotten houses which send you back in time to a better time if you just look at it, you learn your way in the city through the cars and the wild dogs, you enjoy affordable cultural events : cinema, theater, opera, concert… I think I can say I’m at that point now.
I still feel a stranger though but this time it has nothing to do with the city. I realize that one very essential thing to understand Romania and Romanian culture is the language. I now have good basics ; enough to have a glimpse of the beauty of it. Romanian language when I’ll be able
to call it my language might be the thing I’ll like best about Romania.
Romanian seem to have a very witty use of their vocabulary and grammar. I started to read Orbitor from Mircea Carterscu. In French. It sounded so beautiful I had to read it with loud voice. The translation may be good but I’m sure this way to put words together comes from his
use of the Romanian language. It is both very straightforward and at the same time very poetic with some kind of sadness all around it.
Sadness also seems to be something very Romanian. More than sadness maybe it is some fatalist acceptance of sadness. I might be wrong but I often feel something like this around. Maybe it is just fatalism and cynicism or some persistent reminiscence of very hard times.
Anyhow Romanian are very straightforward people about their ideas, what they like and what they want.
What i like best about being in Romania is the strong effervescence you sense when being here. You can feel this country is on its way to a radical change. And this is exciting, specially when in France nobody believes anything will/can really change anymore. When you look a the political scene you get some good change for you money (as we say in French)… there is always something happening. And it is amazing to look at this country trying to put some order in its past and the ghosts that come with.
To put it in a word. Romanian is for me a very complex country that doesn’t make it easy for a foreigner. But if you managed to get over the first difficulties you might discover a country, a culture, people that are fascinating. . . And this is worth it.
All along this experience I found that having my habits and uses a bit shaken is very challenging. Getting to know Romania, I may get to know myself better as well.
Comment by Solene — January 29, 2007 @ 2:40 pm |
“I am married to a Romanian man because I did not find American men “intriguing” enough. They are bland and boring.”
Yes, mid-west American guys can seem bland and boring as many of us don’t have that macho image you are used to. Most of us don’t pursue second and third sexual side-relationship.
We were taught – and many of us strive – for a stable homelife without extraneous drama. The American cliche is sitting home on the weekend watching sports non-stop, not the Romanian cliche of out collecting girlfriends and beating the wife if she complains.
We are not us loose and volatile as the Latins as our blood is cooler Anglo. LOL
John
Comment by thebookguy — February 28, 2007 @ 9:14 pm |
selam sevgili arkadaşlar dilinizi bilmedigim pek bişey yazamıyorum afola umut ederimki anlarsınız görüşmek dilegiyle
Comment by sukru — March 9, 2007 @ 10:17 pm |
msn adress: cung_urg@hotmail.com
Comment by sukru — March 9, 2007 @ 10:19 pm |
I find this all very interesting, both sides. Well, really all the positions from which each speaker stands. Some of what has been said, I’ve heard of Old Romania in the past. But then isn’t it a country in transition, where no one quite knows from what position anyone else is standing. Something about age, past perceptions and a mix of a long standing culture coming to a clash with woman standing as equals with men?
For me, I stumbled on this blog as I was looking for info about a place I soon plan to visit, and notwithstanding I’m coming anyway. For it will be an area of the world I’ll not likely pass this way again and therefore adventure in it at this juncture.
The Blog sounded interesting, “Dating a Romanian”. Well Boys and Girls, only you can figure out what you each want, are willing to put up with and what is truly worth the effort or maybe better said, “who”, is worth the effort. As my old mother once told me many years ago, “it’s not what you get, but what you give in a relationship, but it must be with a person that feels and sees life in that same way.
Sage advice, May not apply in this new age of young people just Hooking Up. Oh ya, that’s in the West. Sounds like most young Romanian guys are like guys everywhere.
I’m really glad I’m an older guy now, at 55 I don’t chase anything. Life is so much better enjoying each little step. It’s like saying good morning to a pretty Lady on the street, with a big smile on your face just to make her smile and then walking on even when she smiles back.
And for those that said, Bucharest was old and dirty, well it is again from where you stand. When I look out my window here, Kabul Afghanistan looks old and Dirty, a long ways from South Florida or Minneapolis or any of the many world cities I’ve spent time in. Miami is all sparkling till you find yourself out southwest of all the flash.
I look forward to seeing Bucharest. Anyone with positive insights, information would be appreciated. Thank You, Kevin
Comment by Kevin — March 24, 2007 @ 6:03 pm |
Thanks for your thoughts, Kevin and welcome to Bucharest
Comment by darian — April 5, 2007 @ 4:43 am |
ooo! it’s one of the best sites ever!
Comment by benessere — April 8, 2007 @ 8:40 pm |
Interessare, molto interessante. Come avete fatto questo?
Comment by postali — April 10, 2007 @ 1:54 pm |
Darian- I just happened to check back on this blog as I was making my flight reservations for early May. Thank You for your,”Welcome to Bucharest”. I have now found you are a prolific writer of many articles, subjects on your country. Before arriving Bucharest, I look forward to reading them all. And, after my time in Bucharest & Romania, I will comment from my point of prospective, which I hope I bring with no preconceived bias and maybe a broader point of view.
Comment by Kevin — April 11, 2007 @ 6:45 pm |
Interesting comments..
Comment by diuna — April 12, 2007 @ 6:53 pm |
I will be visiting Romania in september,and some of the remarks made on this form could seem quite frightening to someone thinking of visiting there.
Well, i,ve booked me ticket with my mate and coming there anyway.
at the moment,i get the impression that we,re gonna be targets as soon as we get off the plane.
Ripped off by taxi drivers/shops/bars/restaurants/ and possibly pick-pocketed by others on the bus/train.
i,m in bucharest the first three days,and then probably jump on a train up north.Thought about hiring a car but bit worried about driving there.
Can someone lift my spirits about coming to Romania. Any ideas on where to go that is comfortably nice and what to see and look out for.
Any tips on how to get by and avoid disapointments would be apreciated.
I just hope this visit is going to be a nice experience.
Comment by mike gardiner — April 20, 2007 @ 1:10 pm |
well, Mike any trip is what you make of it…of course, there is bad luck sometimes. In this case, you do need to be careful with pickpockets and also with some taxi drivers…try to look for a company like Cobalcescu, Confort, Cristaxi and avoid Independent taxis. The average price is 1,4 Ron/km. You are not necessarily targets but taxi drivers and some other people tend to believe that they could make a bargain out of you or on your expenses. I am sure is not the only country where things are like it, though probably the one among fellow Europeans.
You will avoid dissapointment by enjoying yourself. Go walking, go in clubs and pubs, go up to Brasov by train …is safe and not expensive. People are friendly and talkative everywhere and they will not be friendly only to get something out of you…of course that depends in which clubs you may choose to go…see a local guide or just make your own mind better…if you miss something then is nobody to blame for …or if you meet some great people and cool places, you will be happy. Believe it or not, Romania is worth seeing and you might want to get back …just don’t flash your wallet or mobile in certain areas and you will be fine. Enjoy.
Comment by darian — April 21, 2007 @ 12:06 am |
ok i am a man from the us and have been to many countries around the world and people are the same every where you go just difrent languages. most eastern europe countries think americans are lazy and mink untell you piss us off and that is a bad thing that is when you find are real personality in the states we have to be calm and relxed so it takes much longer to get to no us.
Comment by don — April 21, 2007 @ 8:19 am |
Hello! there. You have a good blog. Nice read…
Take care!
Jessica
Comment by Jessica — April 22, 2007 @ 10:32 am |
Well you were right.
I first replied to this post back in September. I was pretty annoyed by the fact that you had taken such a negative opinion about Romanian men. I was somewhat personally insulted (being Romanian and all) but also confused. I figured you must just be frustrated and were venting/ ranting/ shouting/ complaining to feel better.
Well you were right. I know this now because I visited Romania and the sad truth is most of what you said is true (with small exceptions). Romanian men do come off as macho and cold, there does seem to be a sort of cultural standard of unfaithfulness, which can only mean they are also liars. The other unavoidable truth is that for the most part they really are not terribly attractive, mostly short and hairy. And in a bitter sweet way I do admit that Romanian women are very beautiful. A bit of a problem for me since I dont live there, but ohh well.
So despite my first comment, I see now that you have a good point. Sad, but true.
Ciao
Comment by Fyurien — April 23, 2007 @ 9:04 pm |
Hey,
I’m from Pakistan and will be coming on a traineeship to Romania soon. Your blog has served to be extremely insightful.
Comment by Ali Hassan — April 27, 2007 @ 11:37 pm |
Hey Ali,
and thanks; you”re very kind. Good luck and fun in Romania.
Comment by darian — May 2, 2007 @ 10:04 pm |
hey romanian peeps,
im brazilian and brown.thinkin of goin to romania. i am curious to know if i will be a problem for some of the romanian men, because of the colour of my skin?
i met a girl from bucharest been with her 4 1month. shes there im here in london, i like her very much and im not to sure whether to go and visit her?
do u think i will get attacted 4 bein brown and with a romanian women in bucharest?
let me know.
thank yous
nastro
Comment by nastro — May 11, 2007 @ 3:52 am |
you will not get attacted beacause of your skin…usualy we are not racists…you could find some…hopely you won’t. You might be surprised of the interest of people (female especialy
) in you because of your skin 
Hope you’ll enjoy Romania! Hope you’ll get to visit more than just Bucharest, we have much nicer places in Romania.
Comment by Andra — May 12, 2007 @ 10:41 pm |
Hi,
I am an american girl visiting Romania in July. I would like to meet a special Romanian man, my age, 33-34.
Are really all of them macho, unfaithful, liars and stupid?
Comment by Jennifer — May 20, 2007 @ 8:15 am |
Hi, Jeniffer
In Romania, like everywhere are different kind of men. Despite the western concept about eastern Europeans we did not fall from the tree (or sky or whatever). In Romania there are not barbarians. Neither in Russia, Bulgaria, etc. Of course, there are pimps, robbers, you name them. LIKE EVERYWHERE else. If you want to find somebody … well … it’s a different kind of story. It’s not about Romania … it’s about what you’re looking for. Stay away from too colored people (i mean by that ‘tigani’, ‘rommi’) and downtown parts of the city however. Good luck.
Comment by Bogdan — May 26, 2007 @ 2:06 pm |
I am going to Bucharest in July, but I have been there once before. It seems that Romanian women have an incessant need to tell me how beautiful romanian women are and how much they rip people off, which got on my nerves a bit. Also, when looking on the internet, it seems that few women say that they are looking for anything romantic or even sexual, but they tend to put up provacative pictures. I don’t get that.
Comment by Jackson — June 1, 2007 @ 3:03 am |
WOW.
I don’t really know where to begin. In many of the posts, there is ALOT of generalizations going on. But, there are exceptions to EVERY rule. There are JERKS/LIARS/CHEATERS/UNATTRACTIVE/MACHO PEOPLE in EVERY corner of EVERY city of EVERY country in the WOLRD. Experiences are usually VERY different depending on the person, and the reactions to these experiences are usually VERY different depending on the person.
I have been to Romania 3 times.
I have MANY Romanian Friends, both Women and Men.
I would consider a few of these guys to be VERY GOOD Friends.
We have had MANY conversations on the subject of relationships.
In America, Men Cheat. Woment Cheat. It is no secret. In Romania when Man cheats, it is not emotional at all. It all about the sex. Romanians, and Europeans in general, have a much more open attitude about Sex. Men and Women. Romanian Women KNOW that Romanian Men Cheat. I have Screamed until I was Blue in the face that Cheating is WRONG. It is like Breathing to them. I have posed the question, “What if SHE is cheating on you?” “She’s not.” “HOW DO YOU KNOW?” “I KNOW.” ” She is not.” … usually, He is right. Romanian Women, and Women in general DO NOT CHEAT. They are Stronger. More Resilient. It is just life. It does NOT make it right, but it is what it is. Men are dogs, and if you can find a good one in the group…HOLD ON. Even Men who DON’T cheat, wonder what it’s like, and even the MOST FAITHFUL of men could get caught up in circumstances should they present themself. Will they? Maybe Not. Hopefully not, but MEN are MEN. ALL OVER THE WORLD. But WOMEN Cheat too. EVERYWHERE. Yes…If anyone cheats, it is USUALLY the MAN, but lets not kid ourselves…Women CAN BE JUST AS BAD. WE HAVE ALL SEEN IT! But the general concensus is that MEN are just week for sex. MEN NEED SEX. Not an excuse…just reality. THe Possessive/Macho/Lying/Cheater WILL CHEAT.
and these days, MEN are cheating with MEN (IN ROMANIA TOO) so the POSSESIVE/MACHO/LYING/CHEATER is ALL over the place…just FYI. The attitudes of Romanian men in Bucahrest are different that the attitudes of Romanian men in, say, Brasov. JUST like the attitudes of Men in Los Angeles are different than the attitudes of Men in, say, Wyoming. IT IS THE SAME THING. It should be EASY to make the distinction, but for some it is just easier to pick on a country that we are ignorant about, and make alot of general, stupid comparisons.
I find that once you break through the wall of communism in a Romanian, what you will find is a very warm and caring soul. Romanians (like Italians) are not very quick to be friendly, unless they know you or they know they can get something from you. (My Experience) And once they know you, they can be your best friend. VERY HOSPITIBLE. VERY CARING. VERY LOVING. …and again…It depends on WHO you are dealing with. I do NOT think it is realistic to judge an entire country based on a few weeks is said country. ..or judge all of it’s inhabitants by the jerk you met. There are JERKS EVERYWHERE. Also to judge the attractivness of all the men in the country is just wrong…That is like saying, American Men are not as attractive compared to American women, and we ALL know that is just NOT true. Being attractive is in the Eyes… I believe that Romania is a BEAUTIFUL Country, and I have had nothing but good memories of the people and the place.
If you are planning a trip to Romania…Go. If you are going to Bucharest, it is just like ANY BIG CITY. Watch Your Back. “NO THANK YOU” WORKS EVERYWHERE. My Advice is to stray away from the Big City, and go to the Countryside. The Mountains. IT is BEAUTIFUL. Go to BRASOV. GO to SINIA. Go to the BLACK SEA. It is STUNNING.
…and if you DATE ANYONE…BE SMART. If it sounds like CRAP in the first 10 minutes, then it is probably CRAP. Not just in ROMANIA, but ANYWHERE.
Comment by DJ — June 12, 2007 @ 12:24 am |
Bid HI from roumania ! I like this blog !
For Bogdan and Andra : good point ! i like you’re ansswer
Comment by LAURA — July 3, 2007 @ 10:44 pm |
i work with a few romanians at the excalibur in las vegas, and the women who work there are rather stand offish but the men they warmed up to me quickly. they are smart, funny, and super sweet.i have talked with them about their dating lives and they have had relationships of 2-3 years while being loyal. oh i have one quick question, id you were a 26 year old romanian man how young of a girl would you date?
Comment by jackie — July 9, 2007 @ 6:21 pm |
Well I have a lot to say: I met a Romanian women named Irina about a year ago. She walked into my life like a dream. As we started to see each other more,she started to change. I am an American male living in Michigan. I’m 53 divorced and have a grandson. What I found out was this women was different. I believe in being up front with someone. Although because of a bad divorce I didn’t want her to meet my family right away. We spent a lot of time to-gether but she kept changing. I thought she was the most beautiful,wonderful’and kindest person I ever met. Boy did I get a rude awakening. She turned into a tomcat. She was mean and very strange. All I ever wanted to do is be close to her. Then her X-husband starts coming around, and he wants her back. She was supposedly divorced for 2 years. She starts to get close to him and more farther away from me. Then she tells me we were never meant to be together and she wants to give him another chance. If you ask me some that sleeps with you and then tries to ignore you and drive you away is not all there. I think she needs a shrink. I’ll tell you this if this is how women are in Romania then you can keep them. They may be beautiful, but they are wolves in sheeps clothing. I also recall she never wanted to be seen in public or take a photo with me. And there was a time where she just flipped out after I aggrivated her. I think she is in love with herself. I guess it just goes to show you beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I hope she finds what she is looking for. I don’t ever want to see the bitch again. She disgust me.
Comment by kevin — July 25, 2007 @ 1:34 am |
Well the problem with you Kevin is that you met a Romanian woman at yout late age of 53.Of course that woman is going to be tied down to someone else as at this age most people are.I know for a fact(as a child of a divorced romanian woman) that no matter what happens she will always sooner or later communicate with her once lost lover and there is a strong possibility of their realtionship blossoming.A romanian woman generally looks for someone to satisfy them mentally sexually and spritually once they have that you have yourself a partner for life.However once you show some weakness in any of those areas she will gladly go back to the previous guy that was filling those shoes even though he might have cheated or even beat her.In other words you my friend are not strong enough to handle the passion the latin spirit that a tru latina can give you.YOU ARE DISSMISED.NEXT??
Comment by cujoluv — June 9, 2009 @ 4:18 am |
The Romanian mind-set is take, take, take. Probably comes from Russian influence. It is difficult for Westerners to grasp, but generally, honesty is seen as an undesirable quality in Eastern Europe, and Romania especially. Superficiality is king, and having the newest cellphone is a badge of honor. The average Romanian is a decent individual, but the average “Bucherestian” is a whole other animal. That is where I draw the distinction. Bucharest is a sewer, and those who reside there are thieves, or “wannabe thieves.” Plain and simple. As far as Latin influence goes… yeah, right! I have been to most true Latin countries, and honesty and respect is a cornerstone of the Latin culture. Romanians need to get real, and realize that they are not Latin whatsoever. A conquering thousands of years ago does not carry forward in this day and age. Having a language that is loosely based on Latin, does not make Romania a Latin country, does it?
Comment by God Savethequeen — July 30, 2007 @ 2:11 pm |
You have a really warped vision of Romania.I will be the first to tell you that Romania is not the greatest country in the world nor the cleanest.However i will tell you this we are a Latin country so Latin in fact our vocabulary is almost pure latin more so than Italian Spanish Portugese or French.As a true Romanian (and proud of my heritage) our mindset is not take take take.Our mindset is give give give.And that is give those that try to invade us more than they could handle give those that talk bad about us some insight and give soul to an otherwise forgotten soulles place called the eastern europe block.We Romanians stick out like a Rose coming out of the concrete never been touched smelling so sweet yet pricks cut your fingers blood dripping out youre not so tough with sweet in your mouth
Comment by cujoluv — June 9, 2009 @ 4:35 am |
Hello all, I had a GREAT time in Bucharest back in May, also was fortunet to see alot of the country before taking the overnight train to Budapest. As a 55 yr old American on retreat from Afghanistan. My time was WELL spent. Thought time did not allow for any personal relationship to evaul, It was Still a place I will look forward to spending more time.
Truth be told, with the right person, honesty and affection for the other person on both sides. Wonderfull life is posible. A life long friend, and a memory and regret that I could not stay.
Kevin
Comment by Kevin — August 7, 2007 @ 3:32 am |
This is to the Kevin from July 25th posting and anyone that has had problems with Romanian women.
The reason you cant handle a Romanian woman is because you either are a gay faggot loser or a cuckhold pussy.
Romanian women are hotter then U.S. women. I met many of them and I never had a problem with them. They are not standoffish compared to U.S. women.
Women in the U.S are inferior and are all shit face feminazi worthless scum.
Oh and to Godsavetehqueem, Romanians ARE Latin you retarded ignorant faggot.
Just cause you people are gay faggot queers, it does not make Romanian girls bad. Romanian girls are mostly slim and have tight fit bodies.
They can smell a faggot and thats why they may not like certain men, while U.S. women prefer closet faggot men.
Most U.S. women are fat pig freak creatures and they are all inferior to Romanian women.
Comment by Wolfpack — August 15, 2007 @ 7:22 pm |
hi all x im an english gal, n i have been dating a romanian guy, unfortunatly i have fallen for him big time… at first it was perfect, but even though perfect, isince dating him for over 2 months now, i have never had the chance to spend 1 whole day with him, or even a whole weekend with him!!..yes it all sounds suspicious..even to me whilst im writing this! deep down i guess there is something wrong.. i mean hes ok to see me at night..sleep with me, but then when its the weekend..he Must spend time with his brothers n sisters…so when do i fit in/..when i ask him he always turns it round to me and then i feel bad for even saying anything.. I dont know maybe its a romanian thing..but in england when you meet someone n you have strong feelings for someone, you spend as much available time as possible together…in bed AND out of bed!!!…well its such a shame, as i do really like him, but its plain to see hes only after one thing! even though ive said this to him over n over..he STILL says hes not and hes fallen for me?????…. oh how confused i feel!! is there ANY honest gorgeous romanian men out there?….i do think he should see his family..i think that is very important, but itd be nice to be involved at some point?..tell me im wrong? xxx
Comment by jay — August 19, 2007 @ 4:02 pm |
oh and another thing, we had a problem with 1 of his fellow romanian so called mates, he involved me in the argument, so me being me, tried to take it in my own hands to tell the ‘mate’ what i thought….this caused total uproar with my fella, so am i to understand that the romanian culture is the women stay out of arguments, and have to sit tight lipped whilst the men sort the problem out?…sorry im not being nasty..just trying to understand?….. xx
Comment by jay — August 19, 2007 @ 4:11 pm |
well, as an american woman dating a romanian man i find my relationship refreshing and intriguing. although there are many cultural differences that result in a variety of heated arguments it is almost hysterical at times to see how much our cultures have influenced and at times even defined who we are and how we think. what i thought i would relate that i found most amusing was that recently a close friend brought me a recent article of the popular men’s magazine called Men’s Health. in this particular issue men were interviewed from all over north america, south america, and europe about their sexual experience. as it turns out my fellow ladies reading this blog…. it turns out that romania comes in as the second country to have the most sex year-round. this article not only made me laugh out loud but i also find it oh-so entertaining that only men were asked and since men have no need to flaunt their masculine nature or sexual prowess that they would answer these questions honestly. as for me and my romanian man… i am quite happy and satisfied! best wishes to anyone lucky enough to date a romanian!!!
Comment by Treyvan — August 23, 2007 @ 5:01 am |
You are one happy lady,so are my 5 female friends,if only i can unite the all together im sure we would all be satisfyed,together…
Comment by cujoluv — June 9, 2009 @ 4:50 am |
Well, as a romanian I must adimit that we are the best lovers… between romanian! Seriously now, Romania is a 100% patriachat country, that means: the man is the leader and the women just an accesory! Not that I would follow the “traditional way” of thinking but… it is the true! In the last 18 years a lot has been done in this direction and things start to slowly change and that gives hopes… hopes for the romanian females! Not to forget: i loved treyvan’s comment and i really want to tell you that: I LOVE YOU pumpkin’…
Comment by The monkey.... — August 23, 2007 @ 7:27 pm |
I went on vacation this summer and met a Romanian man. I am an American women. He was the sexiest, most beautiful man ever. he was the best lover i ever had. Even though he is long gone now. I can’t get him out of my head. Totally romantic,, american men are a shame next to romanians. And women cheat all the time. I/m glad i did.
Comment by summer — September 5, 2007 @ 11:54 pm |
I am not sure if it is worth trying to rank/compare lovers by nationality. Anyone who traveled a bit, lived and shared their life with others knows how unexpected (for good or bad) dating and individuals are everywhere. Isn’t this part of why we all love it so much? I also believe that the whole dating culture in a country is the product of attitude from both genders (adjust for degrees of freedom). One shapes the other. As a group, men get what women give, and they do or seek to be what women expect. And the other way around. True in Romania and elsewhere in my experience.
Comment by rica venturiano — September 10, 2007 @ 10:59 pm |
too God Savethequeen:
Comment by Bogdan — September 21, 2007 @ 1:41 pm |
too God Savethequeen :
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LATINITY?…
“Superficiality is king, and having the newest cellphone is a badge of honor”, well not everybody in romania can afford a top-rated cell-phone and it comes like a trend, yes, but are you trying to tell me that this doesn’t happen everywhere? how would an english teenager ,for example, feel if she wouldn’t have a mobile to talk to all her friends for hours, I would say probabily inferior, and that is not superficial? if it’s not a cell-phone, it’s an i-pod or whatever the trend brings and it’s the same everywhere, depending from people to people
“the average “Bucherestian” is a whole other animal”- do you know all of the 2 million people from Bucharest? I am from the countryside of Banat and momentarily I reside in the UK, and I have a lot of relatives and acquaitances in Bucharest and they are extraordinary people, although I have oftenly been struck by the superiority of some people because they are from the city and I’m from a smaller town. Can you tell me that isn’t the same in most places of the world? and to say that everyone in Bucharest is a thief suggests that you were hanging out only in the wrong places, too bad for you.
“I have been to most true Latin countries, and honesty and respect is a cornerstone of the Latin culture. Romanians need to get real, and realize that they are not Latin whatsoever. A conquering thousands of years ago does not carry forward in this day and age. Having a language that is loosely based on Latin, does not make Romania a Latin country, does it?” if you go back to ancient Rome, you will find about the huge level of coruption that lead ti its fall, like every other major power that rose and obtained huge succes, and I’m sorry for your ignorance in believing that there is no honesty and respect in Romania, but you need to know that these virtues are present or not in every part of the world, it’s all a matter of the person that you interract with, and I have seen that many people share my opinion in their posts, and you need to get real and start making some documentations before doing statements like that, so if you want to question our latinity you have some serious reading to do, as we have been sustaining it for hundreds of years in front of conquering and tyranic world powers. Our latinity is the basis of our nationality and you are way off in your comments.
And for the record, our language isn’t losely based on latin, the vocabulary is aprox 70% of latin descent and our grammar comes almost entirely from the latin grammar!
Comment by Bogdan — September 21, 2007 @ 2:04 pm |
I haven’t replied to a blog before, but I was fascinated by this one – because of direct [recent past] experience of ‘dating’ a Romanian – and wanted to say my piece! But whatever I say is a general observation based on what I felt and is not intended to be a statement about all Romanians.
There’s no doubt about it, there are sexy, very sexy Romanian men. In general, I found the younger men sensual in an earthy and sexy way, potent and virile. And so there’s no surprise that I was really attracted to my man. They are often passionate and loud in that ‘latin’ way, having strong opinions [not always particularly well thought through] that they voice loudly and openly. I love that as I’m pretty opinionated myself. In general,however, people seem to think nothing of talking over each other and simply raise the volume to get there point across. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of listening going on! Men, in particular, have powerful [sexy] voices that can drown out others and can sometimes sound aggressive to a non-Romanian. I don’t think it’s always intended like that, but sometimes it is!
One of the earlier bloggers mentioned a tendency towards sadness. I noticed this too. There would be great tears and venting of feelings on hearing of some bad news or events that have befallen a fellow countryman. Of course, we all feel that, but I have never seen such outpourings of grief and sadness. There seems to be great empathy for fellow Romanians and passionate defence of their country folk. I admire their ability to express themselves, coming from a country that most people feel is repressed – we’re not, but that’s another matter!
What I found particularly interesting [and infuriating] was that often these passions that were so strong and fierce would somehow go ‘bad’ in close relationships, especially male/female ones. Real male respect for women seems to be pretty rare. They talk a lot about women being stronger, admiring them blah! blah! blah! but male infidelity seems rife, almost endemic! What is even more annoying is the ‘it’s just sex’ attitude which seems to assume that women will accept this behaviour. God forbid if the boot was on the other foot. No one is denying that things happen, people hook up, mistakes get made and people betray others – but over and over again? And it’s the assumption that the woman has somehow done something to make this happen. I heard justifications on the basis of a woman’s weight! that infidelity was ‘hereditary’! As well as all the usual rubbish about it meaning nothing. I often heard comments made by men and women discussing whether a woman was ‘a good wife’, never whether a man was a good husband!
As one example of male ‘respect’ for women I was told the story of an ex girlfriend who ‘clearly had a psychological problem’ because she demanded her boyfriend come home at 6am because she thought he was with other women. The man’s indignation was forceful. It was only some months later that he revealed that he had regularly been ‘a naughty boy’ while with his girlfriend!!!! I remember being accused by my ex of being jealous or suspicious because I didn’t want to wait for him in the cold winter streets while he visited his ex. He didn’t even consider the fact that he was congenitally late and I’d learnt from experience not to make any arrangements like that. His automatic assumption was that I was a jealous clingy girlfriend.
Somehow I think the key to all this lies somewhere in the relationship with the mother and father,like all things!! When I first visited Romania I have to say I was shocked by the amount of looking after that Romanian women do. I like to look after my man as much, if not more, than the next woman. But in Romania it seemed completely expected that clothes would be washed, food would be cooked, beds would be made, spare socks and pants would be bought, hair would be combed! All of this was done automatically. I met mostly men, so I don’t know how far it was true for daughters too. When I tried to discuss it with my boyfriend, he feigned annoyance with it all, claimed he wanted to be independent and then got his mum to pour him a glass of juice from a bottle that was about 5 metres away! I realised that whenever I did something that I considered a loving caring act [cooking a special supper, hunting out a nice new shirt, a massage at the end of the working day, ironing something nice for him to go out in ] it was all ‘nothing special’ for my man, he’d grown up expecting it! And he wasn’t the only one. Sons really did seem to be treated like princes.
It wasn’t just the expectation that struck me. It was the attitude that his family had ‘ruined’ him by looking after him too much, that they were to blame. He said he was too weak to be able to take any responsibility for himself, despite being nearly 30. His father had had several affairs throughout his marriage and yet my boyfriend felt it was necessary for him to have a word with his mother about her refusal to ’succumb’ to her husband’s affections when he was drunk and felt like being loving. Again, no understanding of the undermining of his mother’s identity, no empathy for her situation – just he’s your husband and you should show him some love!
And so sadly all that great attraction, passion and interest died! It’s a shame. Those Romanian men have got something really great going on, but just don’t get too close! I wonder how Romanian woem cope. They seem pretty tough and sexy in their own right, so that might explain things! I think that things are going to get really interesting with this generation and the ones that follow.
Comment by Brit Gal! — September 24, 2007 @ 12:03 am |
I worked at a hotel that employed many Romanians and on the arrival of the first Romanian girl, I was totally stunned, she was absolutely beautiful, everything a guy could ever want. I asked my Romanian male friends in disbelief “Do all of the women in your country look like that!?!” and they replied “No, she is so ugly, don’t think all Romanian girls are ugly just because of this one!”
Anyway, many years later, I find myself engaged to Romanian girl and am very pleased with the whole situation. So happy that I’m moving with her to Iasi next year. She assures me that compared to other Romanian girls, she’s not that attractive, but to me, she’s beautiful. She’s happy that she has a man that knows how to cook and use a vacuum cleaner. She has an expectation that men just want someone to chain to the stove and make babies. What makes my girl different is that even though she expects that of men, she won’t tolerate it. I think the Romanian women who do tolerate abusive, misogynist men owe some blame that this traditional behavior is continuing. I realize that there needs to be a lot of changes in law and culture before Romanian women can enjoy the freedom of independence, but it has to start somewhere, even if that means importing an American husband.
Comment by Fritz — September 24, 2007 @ 3:34 pm |
Am American man has nothing and i mean nothing to give to a true Romanian woman.A Romanian woman needs someone who can tenderly and lovingly take control and make her feel protected.With your attitude i guarantee you wont last even one day in a Romanian ghetto you are nothing but a provider.Once your girl meets a misogyinistic male that chains her to the stove she will feel like a real woman the woman she was supposed to be and if you cant give her that i will or if she is in the USA most likeky a Puerto Rican or black man will.Peace my brother but dont think you will last too long
Comment by cujoluv — June 9, 2009 @ 5:04 am |
god your really love yourself don’t you. Your such a racisit ignorant prick
Comment by john — June 10, 2009 @ 10:38 pm
and before you say it is racist which i wrote wrong this is because you angered me so much about your comments on degrading not only white women but all women whatever their background.
Comment by john — June 10, 2009 @ 10:48 pm
I’m an American married to a Romanian guy (we live in the US). Unless you’re a doormat, don’t do it! My husband expects me to give up all my “outside” interests. He expects me to cook, clean and take care of his kid (I have a full-time job too). I’m not supposed to have any opinion of my own. He wants to be able to tell me what to think, what to do, what my likes and dislikes are. He had told me plenty of times that the only people in our family that matter are him and his kid. He’s a total dictator. He’s controlling. He is totally blameless (in his opinion). He lies to me all the time and when I catch him he tells me it’s my fault that he lied! I can’t even justify his behavior by saying he’s just “old school”. He’s not even 40 years old! Funny how he wasn’t like this in the year we dated before we got married…
Comment by anon — September 29, 2007 @ 10:57 pm |
Its always him him him and not me me me .Right??? Maybe just maybe if you knew him knew what he likes what turns him on what to cook for him when he comes home how to truly satisfy him you wouldnt be in that situation.Im a Romanian male living in the USA (NYC) for 16 years now and i never and will never date An american white woman.I stick to my fellow latinas and it works for me they always know how to satisfy a man.If you dont know how to cook well suck dick well or be passionate might as well date another bland ass American male such as yousrelf.
Comment by cujoluv — June 9, 2009 @ 5:10 am |
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Pingback by Internet dating - Romania.org Community :: View topic - Romania Dating | Dating | information on dating — October 8, 2007 @ 6:25 pm |
I live in the U.S And I married a Romanian man.
We have been married 4 months and we dated a year.
I have a child of 10 years old.
It has turned into a nightmare………
I have to pay all living cost and I cant go nowhere and only can talk to my family on the phone. My son loves him but is starting to be afraid to come home from school.He said he wants to save all the money from the child support because he says he is raising him ( he is) I dont mind cooking cleaning and I can even put up with paying the bills but, He is mad that he has to pay health insurance (not much) on me and him. When I tell him That this is life, he says he is not just working to pay bills. When he went buy milk , it was a big deal for him. The bills I have are just living cost,I dont have no credit cards are nothing lke that.We never talked about rent because I assumed it would be half! But when my son wanted to go to the movies with his friends he blew up.He said I was wasting my money….I cant buy nothing because he says “you are a BIG spender woman” He drinks like a fish and smoke 3 pacs a day! (not when we dated) Im starting to wonder what will happen after 2 yrs. when he has all his papers to say in the U.S ????I try not to think like this but…..And I hear Romanian men are great lovers????? The sex has Stop, Its like a duty for him.
I have to say that I love him but everything I do is wrong and he makes sure that I see it his way. When we are not Fighting its great but We fight 6 days a week and I have to see it his way before its finished. Money is the problem!
He thinks our checks should be saved….. We have to live and buy food….thats life… I have money saved but its never enough….
Comment by Virginia — October 10, 2007 @ 5:37 pm |
well in cases like this it doesn’t matter if he is romanian, american, british, mongolian, sudanian, he is a pig and you just have to get rid of him…
Comment by Bogdan — October 11, 2007 @ 2:55 pm |
well, i met a romania girl the other night, and i have to say she was the hottest girl in the room.
i think she may have been with her boyfriend at the time, but, he seemed pretty cool.
although in saying all of this i was quite drunk (but who wasnt) at the time
i give my star rating of 4.5/5 stars for how the romanians play ball
Comment by nickj — November 1, 2007 @ 6:09 am |
Just as reply to the post where is stated that Romanian are not Latins:
The Thracian genealogical tree counts over 200 tribes, of which the most important ones are those of the Dacians, the Getae, the Ramantes people, of the Besins (the metallurgists), of the Latins, etc.
Dio Casius: “let us not forget that Trajan was a true-born Thracian.The fights between Trajan and Decebalus were fratricidal wars, and the Thracians were Dacians.”
According to Mircea Eliade, the huge number of the branches coming out of the Thracian genealogical tree would amount to approximately 200. (”The Dictionary of Religions,” page. 265)
According to Strabon’s information from Geography (VII, 5, 1 – “The Istros and the Alps between Italy and Germany”) “the Pelasgian-Thracian-Illyrian populations own a territory bordering on that lake (reference is made to Constanza, a lake in today’s Switzerland) next to which live the Vindelicii, the Retti, and the Helvetti … The above-mentioned territory (Alpine-Pannonian-Illyrian) was laid waste by the Boi people and the Taurians – Celtic tribes under Critasiros. The Dacians laid claim over this territory, although they were separated from it by the river Parisos (today, the river Paar, in Germany) which crossed the mountains and flowed into “the Istros” (old name of the Danube).
Pelasgian people, founders of modern Europe. Of late, more and more researchers have been of the opinion that the cradle of the old Europe is the Carpatho-Danubian space (Marija Gimutas), while P.Bosch-Ghimpera holds that the starting territory of the European peoples is the space between the Danube’s Valley, the Aegean Sea (the Thracian Sea) and the Black Sea (the Getic Sea).
Herodotus, in “Histories V. 9″ wrote that “starting with the Hercynian Woods, the western frontier of the Pelasgian Thracian space crosses the Eastern Alps, passing by Noricum, a province inhabited mainly by Dacian and Celto-Germanic people, and then goes as far down as to the Aquileea (nowadays Terzo d’ Aquileia – Italy), to the Venetians’ Golf. From this point the western and south-western border of the Pelasgian -Thracian space follows the shore of the Adriatic Sea, the entire western shore of the Balkan Peninsula and reaches as far as Crete
Ok….that way to much info, i just could not help myself
Comment by Off Topic — November 2, 2007 @ 7:02 am |
i just can’t believe what im reading why do people have to be some people have to be so ignorant realize people come on there are liars cheaters non atractive and atractive people all over the world basically there is some differences in cultures but that doesn’t mean all Romanian guys are pocessive or all Romanian guys i believe there is cheaters and liars violence dominant guys all over the world and lastly beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Comment by sexy — November 11, 2007 @ 4:05 am |
i just can’t believe what im reading why some people have to be so ignorant realize people come on there are liars cheaters non atractive and atractive people all over the world basically there is some differences in cultures and other things but that doesn’t mean all Romanian guys are pocessive i believe there is cheaters,liars ,violence, dominant dictators all over the world and lastly beauty is in the eye of the beholder and my boyfriend is Romanian he’s sexy romantic passionate sweet and oh my god he’s just sexy we both love se*
Comment by sexy — November 11, 2007 @ 4:11 am |
I am an English woman and have been living with a Romanian man for 4 months now and we intend to marry this year. I will not disclose my age but will say that I am not a teenager anymore and am a “woman of the world” so to speak and in my experience I have never experienced such a warm and tender relationship ever before in my life! My man is loving and giving, kind and thoughtful, is happy to cook and clean whilst us both having our own space, time and friends. Its perfect!! There have been a few cultural differences but we have learnt to overcome these by talking and understanding each other. I dont think people should generalise which men of a particular country are good or bad because there is good and bad in every race in this world. I could say that all english men are pigs, which they are not, I was just unfortunate enough to meet the ones who were!!
Comment by Shell — January 2, 2008 @ 12:50 am |
Oh, and just to add that he is the most attentive lover too!!!
Comment by Shell — January 2, 2008 @ 12:52 am |
Via Craigs List, I met a Romanian man living in the US. I’m 50; he’s 42. Many of the comments on here match my experience.
We first emailed, then talked on the phone and finally met. Each time we interacted I felt more and more attracted to him. Compared to American men on average, he smokes more, cusses more, and expresses his opinions more unapologetically. I have to say that he does not treat me as well as the average American man, but his different cultural viewpoint makes him fascinating, never boring. He has told me that many American women have thrown themselves at him after only knowing him 2 days. He thinks that he’s just an average guy, but here in the US, he’s not. Maybe in Romania, he would be the norm. He is one of the smartest and attractive men I have ever known. I do prefer smart, shorter men with dark hair and eyes.
Because of the age difference, I never thought he could be truly mine as a boyfriend or husband. Eventually, we started a sexual relationship and I have loved it. He is a good lover, but I have also had good American lovers. One difference, though, its all about him. He loves to be massaged and I will usually massage and scratch him for at least 30 minutes. He has never offered to do the same for me and I have never asked. I actually want him to feel like a king and don’t want to make demands.
I would marry him in an instant, but that will never happen. He is very secretive and carefully keeps me separate from his Romanian friends. I have only met one of his friends and never been in his apartment. We rarely go out. Eventually, I will put a stop to this, but right now I’m hooked. I’m studying the language and hope to visit in the next 2 years with or without him.
Comment by TLC — January 6, 2008 @ 1:18 am |
You are a sweetheart.Let him know what you feel about him and he might change a little.I am a romanian male grew up in USA but very much identify with Romania since i spent about 14 years of my life there .I am very much like what you describe as your man however i prefer an open relationship with a woman ,if she comes out and communicates my shortcomings to me i would only appreciate her more and even improve myself to make sure she is truly satisfyed.As a male he should not be so secretive to someone he likes unless he has other women waiting around.As far as going to Romania it is truly a shock (maybe in a good or bad way) for a westerner.It might open your eyes up or it might fill you up with rage and hatred.Reading your post most likely you will enjoy it.Make sure you visit the Black Sea (please go in the summer),Mamaia is beautiful ,Costinesti also to see young people or go to the Carphatian Mountains visit Sinaia Brasov go to Sibiu and Sighisoara.
Comment by cujoluv — June 9, 2009 @ 6:01 am |
Many Romanian women are very attractive and it’s sad to see the quality of life they have to live. I have looked on the internet for a good online dating site where I can meet a Romanian or Russian women, but it seems like most places I found are in the “we hook you up with a gold digger” business. http://www.datingsitedirect.com is a good place I found that has a listing of dating sites.
Comment by CC — January 8, 2008 @ 9:49 pm |
The phrase ‘You lie down with dogs,you get up with fleas’ springs to mind.If Romanian men are so bad in terms of their treatment of women then I’m sure Romanian women are at least partly to blame also.If a Romanian girl grows up and sees macho promiscous men as the norm then she will naturally seek out that type of man or be attracted to those types continuing the cycle,its human nature.Short-term the unknown might be attractive but long-term it is very hard to break away from your conditioning.
Comment by sonny — January 13, 2008 @ 8:09 pm |
Hi all,
I need some ideas. How much do Roumanian women tell lie? Can you make such a generalization? (My question is serious). Is it a kind of habit?
And, can a Roumanian girl let herself be known to some person almost totally different from her real personality? They all do really believe in god normally.
And can a Roumanian girl swear on very important things, like parents, for a lie? Is this a kind of normal behaviour?
Do Roumanian girls have a limit to consume your life and heart energy?
Thanks for those who express their direct or indirect experiences.
Comment by Rode Buckley — January 14, 2008 @ 12:59 pm |
My answer to you is go pray to Allah for a higher IQ than come back and ask the same questions without retarded child syndrome.
Comment by cujoluv — June 9, 2009 @ 6:03 am |
I had a bad experience with a young Romanian woman before. We were just friends.
She had been so nice until one time money was involved.
Now I have a friend thinking of dating a Romanian lady in his workplace. I think he should find out if she has a hidden dark side or not. Good for him if she is a nice girl. I’m just wondering if I’m too much biased against them based on only one personal.
Comment by Judy — January 17, 2008 @ 10:34 pm |
Yet another prejudiced bunch of stereotypes which cast doubts on the balance of the OP. Perhaps one needs to consider that Romanians dislike being stereotyped as much as any other nation. Frankly the prejudice and shallowness of such generalizations is nauseating.
Comment by anonymous — January 28, 2008 @ 3:23 am |
I have been seeing a romanian girl here in the uk and have got to know a few of her friends. Unfortunatly for me i fell in love with her and all she has ever done is mess me around! She has a partner that she said she was only staying with because there was money tied up that she didn t want to loose. She said she didn t love him all the way through the time i have been with her. Yet she casually said after being seeing each other for a year that actually she does love him and doesn t love me. She has done this on five occasions now dropping me like a sack of shit. I treated her better than i have ever treated anyone i worshiped the ground that she stood on. Yet this is not enough and it seems that she would prefer to spend a life of misery with her boyfriend who cheats on her all the time and treats her like dirt. They have a funny idea about cheating as if it is ok to cheat. WHAT THE F^£K! Why would you want to be with a lying scum bag that beats her up and cheats on her. Anyway this girl has destroyed my life. She is actually no better than her lying cheating boyfriend. STAY WELL AWAY FROM ROMANIANS THEY ARE LYING CHEATING SCUM. This was not only just her and her boyfriend doing this but all of them all her mates were at it especially the females. They just use you for what they want then throw you away when you are of no use anymore to them! I gave up a really good girl because of the lies this girl told me!! They are all lying filth – go back to your shitty fu&$ing poor country and stay away from decent folk and stick to your own breed – SCUM SCUM SCUM
Comment by Dave V — February 2, 2008 @ 12:57 am |
I am a new comer to this site – I am 51 and intend to travel to Romania in March. Any thoughts / suggestions on how and where to meet
Romanian women who might be interested in freindship/ long term relation? Any do’s and dont’s?
Comment by Ralph — February 6, 2008 @ 2:02 pm |
Hey Ralph, hopefully you’re not as bitter as Kevin – July 25, 2007. Also, I hope you’re not interested in a mail-ordered bride either… Just relax and be yourself, treat women with respect and whatever the outcome is don’t be a fucking dick to her.
Have a good trip.
PS: You sound too desperate. Just go to Romania and get to know the culture, the people, visit places, don’t go with just that one thing in mind: don’t try to plunder. You follow my advice and whatever advices Dr. Phil may have dished out over the years, and who knows, you may get lucky.
Comment by pappy — February 12, 2008 @ 6:53 am |
Claudia, in response to the comment you made on and before Oct 3, 2006 about the way Romanian men treat their women, and raising the issue of women being treated like property… (By the way, I’ve just discovered your blog in 2008, so I am looking thru these archived comment – so I apologize to the “delayed” response).
Anyway, in Canada, the Parliament has only recently (in the last 10 years, I believe) ammended the Criminal Code’s provision that the wife cannot testify against the husband in a court proceedings because (are you ready!)the wife was considered the husband’s property. This stems from the British Common Law.
So, here’s my point. Stop making the Romanians look like we are the worst kind. I don’t understand why you are so bitter about your own people. Look outside the box and admit the fact that what you are describing, throughout this entire blog, is that the human nature has an ugly side. I came on this blog so I can somehow reconnect with my culture, where/how I grew up in Romanian (yes, very hard times indeed). I wish that this blog is no longer an invitation to “self-mutilate” ourselves (Romanians) but rather to inform and entertain ourselves.
Comment by pappy — February 13, 2008 @ 8:54 pm |
Pappy, I am really astonished that after several months of abandoning this blog people comment with so much passion. I do appreciate that and I also appreciate your view. I am not taking back though what I have written. It’s true, it’s about the human nature in general, but I live among Romanians and I do take notice of those around me. It’s also true that I don’t really like Romanians, but I don’t hate them either. I am Romanian myself, so I think I have the right to be bitter or not with my fellows. Actually is hard for me to understand those who see only the ‘good’, though it’s easier when you live abroad to idealize your country. However, if you have a different opinion, go ahead and write more here. As for myself, I don’t feel at all that I ’self-mutilate’ myself or other people, I just think that criticism is sometimes better than self-indulging.
Comment by darian — February 13, 2008 @ 9:24 pm |
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptClaudia, in response to the comment you made on and before Oct 3, 2006 about the way Romanian men treat their women, and raising the issue of women being treated like property… (By the way, I’ve just discovered your blog in 2008, … [...]
Pingback by Dating Advice - Anything ‘08 : Blog Archive : Comment on Dating a Romanian by pappy — February 13, 2008 @ 10:27 pm |
You feel astonished! Holy shit, lady! Do you think someone is gonna come and clean up your shit after a while…! Hell ya, you better assume that (if this blog is gonna continue indefinitely) people will see mine and your comments and will react regardless of how much time it’s past.
Hey what can I say we’re(romanians)are very passionate people, in every sense of the word.
I will not dissect your whole entry that you last made, but I’ll stop you at the “…though it’s easier when you live abroad to idealize your country.”: You are making enormous assumptions about being and living easier abroad; it’s fine – you’re just ignorant.
I guess I expect you (although is not fair)to be more objective or even make an attempt to make a disclaimer, such as: I feel like… (shit, I sound like a shrink, but you get the idea), as you splurge in your verbal diarheea. Otherwise, this whole blog will join and will invite so many people full of hatred who would do it just to get off.
You and I have lived the hard life in Romania, and it didn’t get all that better overseeas (initially). I get frustrated and I am afraid that this generalizations broadcasted all over makes us sound like we’re a waste of skin.
“Self-indulging” Indulge in what? What are talking about? Do you like play on words, or something? What am I indulging in? This crap?
Comment by pappy — February 13, 2008 @ 10:34 pm |
Pappy, or whatever is your name …you take yourself too serious. Find something useful to do or star your own blog. I’m so far away from ‘verbal diarrhoea’, I don’t hate anybody because I simply don’t hate people and I did not plan to be ‘objective’ as it’s not a sociological/anthropological essay, it’s a point of view written one year ago. Hey!! Let’s keep some sense with us, will you?
Comment by darian — February 13, 2008 @ 10:40 pm |
You’re right.
Sorry if you feel like I stole the limelight from you.
You should listen to yourself more. I’m taking myself too seriously… Read what you wrote!
Yes, there are some things that I am passionate about: who I am and where I came from, are some of those things, and I get defensive about it. I make no apologies for that.
Comment by pappy — February 13, 2008 @ 10:52 pm |
I was just recently involved with a Romanian male and it has had to be the worst experience of my life. In the beginning he pursued me, then obsorbed all of my time, and basically moved himself in my house. After a while I got used to him being around all the time, and really started enjoying his companionship. However, he was extremely secretive. He never introduced me to his family (I was a dirty secret), because I’m 10 years older than him and I have three children. Even though he had these flaws, I still fell in love with him, because he had or so I thought a very sweet and sensitive side. I did find out that he was a liar and a cheat pretty quickly. When he lived with me he did not help at all financially and was working construction. However, the construction jobs seemed to be few and far in between. He would basically play on the internet all day. I later found out that he was pursuing Romanian women online. We went on vacation to Southern California (we live in Northern California)and I had him drive my car back up north, because I had to stay down south for a meeting. From the moment he picked me up from the airport, I knew something was different with him. He left my house with my car to go run errands and he left his cell phone on the dining room table. It rang and I had this overwhelming compusion to look at his text messages. One of the nights I was down down south, he stayed down there to meet up with a Romanian woman he met online. He told her she was a “ten” and gorgeous. Then he was desperately pleading with her to let him spend the night at her house. She was extremely disgusted and it showed through in her text messages. She told him that it was inappropriate and that she just met him. Apparently, they met at a bar and he had a lot to drink. He said the reason he needed to stay at her house, was because the police pulled someone over in the bar’s parking lot and didn’t want to drive. Which I don’t believe, but I was really pist that he had been drinking and driving MY CAR. Then the next day he was begging her to go out to eat with him. I was so hurt, because he told me he loved me and pretty much had all my friends and family convinced that he loved me too. I confronted him when he came home and he was livid that I found out about his secret. We both didn’t speak and went to bed upset. The next day he tried to hug me and ask me how I was doing and I pushed him away and said I don’t know. Then in the middle of my work day he text messaged me and told me that he moved out. I was completely shocked and so was everyone else who knew us, because we really got along well and he really acted as though he loved me. From that point on, it was the beginning of the end. My intuition told me to start doing some digging on the internet and I that is when I found out he had been pursuring other women on the internet. We no longer speak, but I did save the Romanian woman’s phone number from the text messages, called her and she confirmed that he continued to pursue her. She finally told him to delete her number and email address. Her advice to me was never to date Romanian men. She said that she does not date Romanian men, because of the way they treat women. I don’t want to generalize, but reading through these blogs there certainly seems to be a lot in common with these men and I don’t think I would ever date a Romanian again.
Comment by Blondie — February 14, 2008 @ 6:00 am |
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptI was just recently involved with a Romanian male and it has had to be the worst experience of my life. In the beginning he pursued me, then obsorbed all of my time, and basically moved himself in my house. After a while I got used to … [...]
Pingback by Dating Advice - Anything ‘08 : Blog Archive : Comment on Dating a Romanian by Blondie — February 14, 2008 @ 8:15 am |
It is deja vu in reading the above comment on dating Romanian men. Your story is so similar to mine. I dated and married a Romanian man. I too was 10 years older and everyone family and friends thought he was a wonderful person and that he loved me; however, this turned into a nightmare. Family was off limits…ditto much above. He would work but spent most time on the internet playing games and I found searching for other women. The way he speaks and his treatment of his women of his past is awful. I didnot find this out until it was to late. Committment and honesty is far from his tongue. Selfish and self-centered and lacks integrity and character. Interested in dating a Romanian don’t ignore the red flags appear don’t ignore…it is more of a a mask he wears. Always proceed with caution a man’s true colors will show if given enough time.
Comment by Jazze — February 14, 2008 @ 3:00 pm |
Hi Jazze,
I have to wonder if we were dating the same guy or if this is really cultural….scary!
Comment by Blondie — February 14, 2008 @ 11:44 pm |
Hi All,
I’m the girl that Blondie is talking about. I’m a Romanian woman and proud of it.
I’ve sworn off being emotionally involved with Romanian men a little over three years ago.
Since then I’ve been doing just fine…don’t miss them…definitely don’t need them.
Here are my opinions:
1. They are possessive and jealous creatures.
2. Lack of respect…because if they show respect they don’t think they have balls….
3. They don’t understand the meaning of the word friendship only….and Go Away….means …Take me I’m yours.
4. They’re wannabe machos which turn out to be a freaking pumpkin at the end.
5. Absolutely no core values when it comes to respecting their partner………do they even consider a woman a partner???
6. Always trying to lie…cheat…or betray in some kind…from small things to important ones…I guess they think that’s what makes them men…
7. Let’s not forget about their bodies….can I get a YUCK and an AMIN from you guys? I mean seriously…the gym started being a fashionable thing not too long ago in Romania….so there are some good bodies out there….but mostly…still the same…the man can look like sit…..BUT God forbid the woman gains a pound!
This list could go on…but don’t have time for it. These are my main observations.
And YES….I will not date a Romanian guy even if he’s covered in gold….
If you find one that seems different that you’ve heard….beware…they’re like that in the beginning…The core is still the same…nobody will change the culture in which they’ve been raised.
Cheers.
Comment by Roxana — February 15, 2008 @ 4:05 am |
[...] Lux Alptraum wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptHi All, I’m the girl that Blondie is talking about. I’ma Romanian woman and proud of it. I’ve sworn off being emotionally involved with Romanian men a little over three years ago. Since then I’ve been doing just fine…don’t miss … [...]
Pingback by Dating Advice - Anything ‘08 : Blog Archive : Comment on Dating a Romanian by Roxana — February 15, 2008 @ 7:17 am |
hei Roxana! where the hell did you come from?! I am a romanian guy an proud of it, am abroad doing a gap year, and I can tell you one thing: this is one romanian man who you’ll never see hiting or being interested on you (probably because of my allergy to stupidity). It’s probably easy for you to say you’re never gonna go out with a romanian since you’re abroad as well and I’m sure most foreign people you’ll meet will be a lot wealthier than an average romanian, but the ignorance you proved in your post is quite an achievement, I mean I’m sure you met nice romanian guys, but you probably were never really interested in them, maybe they were too geeky, to poor for your “high class” personality. So, I’m saying this for all the guys out there who are romanian at blood: we’re better of without ya!!
P.S. my body’s very nice thank you!
And YOU ARE A STUPID BITCH!!! (couldn’t help myself)
Comment by Bogdan — February 18, 2008 @ 3:48 pm |
Oh dear Bogdan! I can understand you’re frustrated by someone who you think is having a go at not only your nation, but also your gender – but your attack is full of presumptions about this woman, insults and abusive language. You really don’t paint a very pretty picture of Romanian men. I’m sure you can argue your point in a better way
Comment by britgal — February 18, 2008 @ 7:16 pm |
Bodgan,
As always majority rules and a grain in a sea of sand won’t make much difference. You are probably everything you say you are (even though you poorly express it, as brit gal says…thanks girl!).
And yes…what Bogdan did here is what romanian men do when they can’t win an arguments….insult…rasie their tone of voice…sometimes hit the table stand up and leave….
What can I say…force over intellect.
Bogdan, watch your language and stop accusing people directly when you don’t know anything about them. if you wat to make general comments or share your experiences feel free….
But I’m sick of people who can only bash others….one would expect them to raise above that….but hey ….we all get disappointed every day…so what’s one more?
Cheers
Comment by Roxana — February 18, 2008 @ 10:16 pm |
to the ladies that knock the Romanian guys,
what happened to your previous relationships with men. Were they all Romanian, too.
Maybe you need to look at yourself and re-evaluate what it is about you that you’ve (at least once) attracted the “bad apple”.
One of the blogger stated she is a mother of 3 kids. Where is their father?
You know, if you’re so bitter with dating a guy, maybe you should start “batting for the other team” – if you know what I mean…
Comment by pappy — February 19, 2008 @ 1:36 am |
im an american woman and i met a romanian man and i am going to italy to live with him permanently. everything i know about him is the complete opposite of the negative things people say about romanian men. i think this is demonstrated in his actions. actions speak louder than words – he treats me like a princess! – buys me flowers, makes sure i always wear my slippers so my feet are not cold, makes me breakfast in bed and pretty much wants to spend every waking moment with me. he is content just to share dinner together and sit side by side watching tv with me every night. we cook together, clean together and do every household chore together. he does most of the cleaning. when i tell him to wait and i will do it -he can’t wait! he wants to do it himself!
and the sterotype about romanian men not wanting to cook – the last meal we ate together i didn’t even help him. he was in the kitchen cooking while i was surfing the net! sometimes he makes traditional romanian food for me so i can try it. when he calls his mother in romania he wants to put me on the phone so she can hear my voice. he is respectful to others, kind, educated – and has a great sense of humor. he works very hard and takes a lot of pride in his job which is basically very manual labor and since i won’t have a job when i first get to italy he will be totally supporting me. right now he is building a small house for one rich family in italy and he takes me to show me this house that he is so proud of because he built it with his own hands – he is like an excited little boy running around taking my hand wanting to show me this and that, the roof and the rafters and the chimney that he built. the people who know him say the kindest things about him to me. maybe there are men who don’t treat women well – but I think that is not specific to romania. i think that is all over the world. and as far as being attractive – i have never felt such an attraction in my life to someone. i think this man is beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. i can’t imagine that he will wake up one morning and cease to be this amazing person that he is. i think his personality has a lot to do with the way his parents raised him. he was raised very poor and had nothing. but like he tells me his parents are “poor – but with dignity”. he sends money home when he can to help his parents. he told me that when communism was still in force sometimes they only had very little to eat. i think it made him very humble. its my pleasure to even be associated with this man. i love him.
Comment by jennifer — February 19, 2008 @ 3:33 am |
[...] default@goarticles.com (yoni levy) wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptOh dear Bogdan! I can understand you’re frustrated by someone who you think is having a go at not only your nation, but also your gender – but your attack is full of presumptions about this woman, insults and abusive language. … [...]
Pingback by Dating Advice - Anything ‘08 : Blog Archive : Comment on Dating a Romanian by britgal — February 19, 2008 @ 8:09 am |
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptim an american woman and i met a romanian man and i am going to italy to live with him permanently. everything i know about him is the complete opposite of the negative things people say about romanian men. i think this is demonstrated … [...]
Pingback by Dating Advice - Anything ‘08 : Blog Archive : Comment on Dating a Romanian by jennifer — February 19, 2008 @ 8:09 am |
right, britgal and roxana, if roxana would have just generalized about men, saying the’re all this that and the other, I would not have been as pissed, but to just say ALL romanian guys are just bad is utterly ignorant, as well as any generalizations made purely by nationality, wich are very often in this blog. Roxana, I understand you’re in America, have you learned by now the meaning of political corectness? And you expect me to use fancy words, here I can just as well, but I sugest that you two take a look over both our previous comments and see better who has made more pressumptions, as you’re comment Roxana was far from being objective, or intellectual (as you sustained that I was trying to use force over intellect, wich was inacurate since you employed no intelect). Though I hope you observe the difference between us is that even though I was discusted by Roxana’s words, I did no generalization as to spread my anger over the entire female population, anger well provoqued by the fact that your words nullified as not only men, but human beings.
I will gladly admit we have flaws, even general ones, like sexism, which is widely spread amongst us, me as well to admit it, but it’s not only in a distructive way and it’s definetly not what defines us as men, and all of the flaws you can find in us are just as common between other men of other nations, just like our qualities (wich are there no matter what you say!).
So if you say you never met a romanian man who was any different I have to ask where have you been hanging around and with who?
let’s not forget: Spune-mi cu cine umbli ca sa-ti spun cine esti
peace out!:))
Comment by Bogdan — February 19, 2008 @ 4:12 pm |
Bogdan,
As far as I am concerned….I am not and never will be politically correct…no point in it as far as I know. I’m not here to please others or make them feel better about themselves so they can happily live in a lie.
Now back to your still misguided comments…..I think you completely misunderstand the meaning of a blog. We write here not be objective and be politically correct…..we write here to share experiences….regardless if they are good or bad. That’s why before I stated what I stated about Romanian men I specifically said that these are MY opinions.
No hatred here towards Romanian men….I’m just simply disgusted with the vast majority of them. They few gems that shine…good luck to them…but I sincerely doubt you’re one of them just by the way you come back and insult people.
I know plenty of Romanian men….and they all confirm my conclusions. They are fine as buddies…but I wouldn’t be caught dead in a relationship with them. Again…..emphasis on “I WOULDN’T”….whatever the rest of the women choose to do…that’s their business.
And where I’ve been hanging around? I’d say around good people.
I have one more thing to say regarding Pappy’s comment….don’t judge people because they have three kids….or they’ve been married several times…it’s way better to look for true happiness and act towards that than compromise in a mediocre relationship where you’re not happy…..but be in it for the sake of being able to say you are committed.
For those who are truly in love and happy together….I wish you well….for those who are still looking…good luck.
Comment by Roxana — February 19, 2008 @ 7:22 pm |
[...] Lairedion wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptright, britgal and roxana, if roxana would have just generalized about men, saying the’re all this that and the other, I would not have been as pissed, but to just say ALL romanian guys are just bad is utterly ignorant, as well as any … [...]
Pingback by Dating Advice - Anything ‘08 : Blog Archive : Comment on Dating a Romanian by Bogdan — February 19, 2008 @ 9:20 pm |
Hi Pappy,
I’m not knocking any Romanian men. I’m just sharing my experience. I do not like to generalize people by ethnicity, color, age or sex. Yes, I do have three children from a prior 12 year marriage (not that it is any of your business, but their father is part of their life); however, that marriage has nothing to do with the experience that I previously wrote about.
I was treated wonderfully and was very much in love with a Romanian male, but he changed overnight. It was heart wrenching and painful. I just wanted to share my story in order to help heal and I’m sorry if I offended you.
Comment by Blondie — February 19, 2008 @ 11:42 pm |
hey blondie,
don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to make it my business, faaaar be it from me! It’s funny how you and Roxanna are all up in arms about not judging and generalizing: Roxanna – “don’t judge people because they…”, and you generalizing about many Romanians men.
which blog do you use to badmouth the other guy you’ve been with, so I can check it out to see if he’s also Romanian, who is doind this, and that, and the other.
Seriously, you are a couple of bitter, hypocritical women, who’ve had (unfortunately) a bitter experience with a guy or two (or in Roxanna’s case: “…plenty of Romanian men….and they all confirm my conclusions…”). All you need is a couple of good counselling sessions and you’d be good as new, and ready to get back on the saddle.
Come on ladies, stop crying rivers… I’m sure you’re educated enough to understand that you’re just emotional about your experiences – which is fine, and it is not true what concluded about the Romanian men. Really, it’s insulting. It’s like saying, that the native americans are all drunkerds and lazy, or that Germans are nazis, etc., based on one’s experience with someone from a different culture, circle of people, friends, whatever.
Anyways, enjoy life and take it easy! Really!
Comment by pappy — February 20, 2008 @ 5:49 am |
Fine, you don’t wanna be correct or objetive, I knew that from the start, but you can’t expect to prove your comments were rightfull or intellectual, and hate surely vibrates from them. You can post whatever you want, either true or false, correct or incorrect, as I will post whatever I want to argue and prove that you are wrong, only I’ll bring arguments to what I state. And let’s not get separated by th fact that you insulted me as much as I insulted you. Or was I not suposed to feel insulted?! Another question: How come een though you didn’t want to be involed with romanian men anymore you met the guy Blondie was involved with? Or did you make that decision after him? And if you say you were around good people how come all of the men were so horrible?(I’m talking about your time in Romania)
Anyway, all of your satements are false, as you included the entire male rase in Romania in them, and there are totally differnt cases wich proove you wrong, some of wich can be seen on this very blog.
Comment by Bogdan — February 20, 2008 @ 11:50 am |
Pappy,
It is interesting how you state that I’ve generalized Romanian men, which I have not. Not to mention, I was completely respectful to you and you could not return the same courtesy. Which leads me to belive that you are probably one of those people who can only have virtual relationships, because no one would want to be around you in the real world.
The person I wrote about is the only Romanian male I’ve ever been involved with. You need to go back through and read through my blogs. This is the first blog I’ve ever posted about a relationship and I know that is an utter disappointment to you.
It is funny how you state that Roxana and I are bitter, hypocrytical women, but you are the one who displays all the bitterness and neanderthal type behavior. I hate to break it to you, but I’ve read your blogs and you sound like a cranky old man, who is bitter and maybe it is you who needs the counseling sessions or maybe some company with the female persuasion if you swing that way.
Comment by Blondie — February 20, 2008 @ 6:59 pm |
Pappy,
I will not leave any stone unturned, but you imply that Roxana has been with many Romanian men. I would like to know where you get this information? How can you make these kind of assumptions? Additionally, you were also trying to knock me by having three children from a 12 year marriage. In Roxana’s case, she was engaged to a Romanian and that makes her promiscuous?
You are certainly judgmental, self-righteous and crass. As I said, I’m sure you have difficulties in the real world.
Comment by Blondie — February 20, 2008 @ 7:21 pm |
This is clearly becoming an insult match especially from Pappy and Bodgan’s side.
After stating my opinions…I get called a “STUPID BITCH!!!”, ignorant, a materialistic woman (you probably were never really interested in them, maybe they were too geeky, to poor for your “high class” personality), with “no intellect”….and some other derogatory presumptions. Not to mention in Pappy’s last blog ….he implies I’m a whore…because I mention that I’ve met plenty of Romanian men, including Blondie’s ex.
Well…..I do know a lot of Romanian men…but I don’t need to date them, fuck them or whatever to know what’s in their mind and to know for sure know I don’t want them in that way.
Blondie’s ex and I were chat buddies and nothing more. He knew my opinion about Romanian men, yet still did what he did.
Both of you have a lot of nerve to directly insult specific persons without knowing them. All my comments were directed at the majority of Romanian man……AGAIN I SAY MAJORITY…..I also mentioned in my blogs that there are exceptions and I wish them the best.
But hey…obviously some people have selective reading. Next time read everything as a whole, and try to refrain yourself from implying or stating insults directly addressed to a specific person.
I could make a lot of presumptions about Pappy and Bodgan in particular, but I won’t lower myself to their level.
Hope you guys will have fun with this, and I’m sure you’ll find the time to write a couple more blogs full of insults towards me….at least make them good and run a spell check before you post. ;0)
Comment by Roxana — February 20, 2008 @ 7:38 pm |
Roxanna,
It sound like the word of the day is: Insult.
You feel insulted because I called you a whore, and I feel insulted because you called the Romanian men whores.
There, we’re all even. If you can dish it out, you should be able to take it as well. I think that’s fair.
Read your own entry #78. It sure sounds like you know how to dish it out…
Blondie,
I am not that dumb to tell you anything about my life. We’ll go with that: “…sound like a cranky old man, who is bitter and maybe it is you who needs the counseling sessions or maybe some company with the female persuasion if you swing that way…”
take care
Comment by pappy — February 21, 2008 @ 12:55 am |
Roxana, now you’re turning and twisting your own words, your first blog clearly included ALL romanian men as you stated “If you find one that seems different that you’ve heard….beware…they’re like that in the beginning…The core is still the same…nobody will change the culture in which they’ve been raised.”, and now you’re saying that the majority is like what you described (wich is still a load of crap). You seem to believe that making insulting remarks that are directed to an entire group isn’t as bad as directly made insults to a person, and you state that I had the nerve to insult you, well I am not sorry for what I said in my post as I consider it rightfully provoqued. So, as pappy said: we’re even..
P.S. don’t get into spell checking, cause you have your own mistakes and I wouldn’t want to waste my time digging them out
Comment by Bogdan — February 21, 2008 @ 3:16 pm |
Fair enough. My opinions remain unchanged, and you guys can believe anything you want about me.
Comment by Roxana — February 21, 2008 @ 7:50 pm |
WoW! I must say, this has been quite an interesting read. Unfortunately (or not depending on how you look at it), I don’t care what y’alls names are, I was only interested in what you had to say. While I agree with the people bitching about the generalizations of Romanian men, I also see the stand point of several people writing about bad experiences.
Yes generalizations are bad and get thrown around way too easily, like saying all asian people look alike. They don’t , but they share the same facial structure, which is where the 2 chicks are coming in. Yes, everyone knows not everyone of a specific ethnicity is going to be the same as the next. But we have already established several times in the post that “romanian women are beautiful” and that “romanian men are passionate”.
But no one seems to take offense to these generalizations, just the bad ones. So better idea, lets not use words like “all” or “most of” or “everyone” because in a country as big as theirs, you can’t possibly know “all” or “most of” “everyone”. Then we can avoid these comments being labeled “generalizations”. Lets just call them, “personified averages”. And on that note…
I know 2 different romanian girls. One that lives in suceava, and one that lives in cluj. They are both beautiful, both kind, both in college. The girl in suceava could probably drink me under the table, seems down to earth and not much for the traditional way of life. The other girl could probably quote every line of the bible to me, is very religious and very much for the traditional way of life. so my question is….ready for it?…
In everyone’s (damnit, i just used a word i promised myself i wouldn’t) own personal experience, which way works out better? I am very close to both of these girls and I have thought long and hard about which girl to get into a relationship with, but I have never met a traditional girl (even thought personally i think i would love it that way [yes, i don't know how to cook, and i cant make babies, but i can clean a house if that redeems me at all]).
Also, do guys (and girls alike) have to listen to those dumbass “if you get the number of someone you like, dont call right away or you look desperate” rules? god those are so fucking stupid… pardon my male… I have also been told that for engagement rings, girls don’t get diamond rings there because they are to expensive… that can’t be true can it?
And last but not least, sexually speaking, romanians get freaky right? Cuz yeah, missionary, while achieving it’s designated purpose, is really boring.
:: sniffs the air :: smells like I’m about to get flamed…. oh well
Comment by joshin — February 29, 2008 @ 7:33 pm |
I don’t know joshin, it’s all about what do you really want! I’d go for the one from suceava but that’s just because I’m at that age. I don’t know a lot about engagement rings, but I presume diamonds aren’t offered to them because not many guys can afford them, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t offer one to a girl from romania. I don’t really know what to tell you about how freaky the girls are, because I haven’t tried “all” of them
), some do some don’t..
Comment by Bogdan — March 3, 2008 @ 3:43 pm |
Joshin, whats the name of the girl you know in suceava? I know a girl that lives there too. I don’t know about the freaky part, but my girl said the same thing about the diamond engagement rings and for the reason bogdan said. Anyway, this as an interesting article… im waiting to see what my girl says about the romanian guys to see if its true or not though.
Comment by josh — March 7, 2008 @ 3:45 pm |
im romanian and im not ugly
Comment by Henry Marinescu — March 17, 2008 @ 5:14 am |
What do i need to know about visiting romania? it seems there are a few romanians in here
and I was curious what i need to watch out for. I’ve heard good things and bad things and I just want to prepare myself. Living in America I am sure I have seen alot of stuff that happens everywhere (robbery, pick pockets, bribery, etc.) but is it as bad there are is it here?
Like when you go to Hawaii, don’t stray from the tourist areas because people will prey on the tourists. Is it kinda the same situation there? Am i supposed to like go from the airport to the local police station and bribe a chief or something?
Oh and where can I go to find the mafia? I got some favors to ask ;P (just playing)
Comment by josh — March 25, 2008 @ 3:09 pm |
wow. this is the first time i’ve read this blog, so i know i don’t have a well-rounded picture of it. i found this post in a search for ‘romanian men’, because i just went out with one. and i was just curious. i am always curious about different cultures, especially dating habits, men and women, things like that. the more i learn, the less i am really concerned, or feel that any one place is so horrible or different from another, in these ways. (i’m an american woman living in the US, btw.)
because i do not wish to be called a stupid bitch, and because i’m not a regular reader of this blog, and because i think this thread has degenerated into a fight, i won’t go on. but i wanted to say thank you to Jennifer who posted her comment on 2/19/08, with something nice to say. and i think it was needed, and i for one appreciated it, and enjoyed her happy story.
i don’t know what will happen with me and my new romanian friend, but i’m 41 and have dated alot of different men, had different types of relationships, with americans and europeans, nice guys and jerks, for fun flings and long-term togetherness. and though i still make some bad choices sometimes, i am a pretty good judge of character, and this gentleman i went out with tonight was just that. a gentleman. direct yes. confident yes. intelligent, funny, goal driven, respectful and complimentary yes. and seemingly very honest, and concerned over whether i was honest or not, because he has been lied to in the past and is quite cautious, even moreso than i.
we’ll see what we see for me. i know that i won’t date someone that treats me like crap, whether it is day one or day 300 when it suddenly appears. i learned that the hard way, before i ever met a romanian. and that’s up to me to decide, not to put up with or blame a country for.
thank you for the stimulating blog.
take care, all.
Comment by Lee — April 27, 2008 @ 6:06 am |
Thank you for the post with the different perspectives offered. I’m recently pursued by a very attractive, smart, considerate, and sweet Romanian man. But being in NYC, it’s hard not to second guess “Maybe it’s too good to be true,” no matter where the man comes from and proceed with caustious optimism.
Comment by Hope — May 4, 2008 @ 6:16 am |
I’ve just stumbled on this post through Google for some reason, and a lot of the things you said is true…
Sorry for repeating myself if this was said in any past post, (there are too many and I don’t really have the time to read them hahaha) but I personally believe that – at least where I am living currently, it’s like a fashion to be dating someone, especially for the girls. I currently live in Ramnicu-Valcea as an exchange student from New York, and from what I have seen for the past… I think 8 months, it seems like the guys are quite macho yes, and they will wait for any girl to make the first move cause from ehat I have seen – guys are more centered around sex more than anything really. I mean I have met a couple of good guys, but then again what it always come’s down to is sex. I am Filippino-American and from New York, so the whole “exotic” thing is DEFINITELY true – everywhere I go I somehow always get some looks because it is really really apparent that I am not a native Romanian.
This blog is quite true, but I would just like to add that boyfriends are like toys to girls, and many of the young people in Romania are more focused on being with someone as a social status and somewhat as a possesive… each person in the relationship, from what I have seen from being in Ramnicu-Valcea, makes the relationship seem like something that needs to be noteworthy and everyone should know about what the guy buys for the girl, and how good the girl is in bed. Or, for those loose relationships, which I could imagine in Bucharesti, it matters on how beautiful and how many you have “shagged”.
But overall, I do agree that Romanian women are quite beautiful then the men, although it seems like they look slightly unhealthy because of how thin they really are and trying to be the european model type. Also, some of the guys are quite fantastic and warm-hearted – but if you’re a female foreigner (like myself) this may happen a lot more for the wrong reasons. But really, I do like the men here and you pretty much it would be cool to find a nice, decent guy here – but of course, being an exchange student – you can’t really do that.
hahah
Multumesc mult pentru asta, m-am placut sa citesc asta
(gramatica mea e varza hahah)
Comment by Ashley — May 7, 2008 @ 5:03 pm |
Hmm I found this to be an interesting read of the need for humans to categorize everything that they see. I feel a strong pull to Romania as my grandmother was Romanian, well at least partly. She was Romanian gypsy, mixed with Cherokee Indian. Hows that for a combination? Despised in Europe and in America, yet at peace with my heritages and cultures. I can still be proud of myself and who I am. I do not feel the need to say “in general” and “all of x” is good bad or otherwise. I was married for 13 years to a woman who just walked out with no explanation other than “she couldn’t explain it, it just sounds selfish.” Her words not mine. I have two children that I have since raised alone. I do not feel like I should denounce nationality, ethnicity, color, or womanhood purely based on the fact that she was wrong and hurt me. Good women are found everywhere. Every nationality, size, shape, color and religious background. Men are also the same. If it is of any concern to the subject matter I am a us male who is not boring, or to conservative. This is of course just my observations, and thoughts on the matter. I am sure that it will upset someone some where lol.
Comment by Al — May 26, 2008 @ 8:04 pm |
I am a Romanian girl, living in America;I’m really happy that I found this blog, congratulations to the person that created it; what i read here is so”us”:we talk so pasionate about everything, doesnt;t matter, woman or man;I love reading all the articles, simply because -once again-they made me proud being Romanian;I want to say that these are my opinions and I don’t want anyone to get “upset” with my views, cause they are simply mine;first, I have to say that Romanian men are great;starting with my father and finishing with my “ex”boyfriend-warm, pasionate and very loving.It is a general characteristic of the Romanias.And yes, he is my ex boyfriend and we broke up in a very civilised manner.I think the ladies that met all those “bad” Roamnian guys that they are talking about could have met them in US, UK or any other country.And the generalisation that Romanian men are like they depicted them is a false one.I am really sorry that you had the misfortune of dating those men-and that they were Romanian-but I guess it was just a mere coincidence.
Ona different note, I have to say that I am very proud with the progress that Romania is going through.And to let all the people that wanna go and visit Romania know that it is a very nice place to visit, with a lot of history and a lot of interesting scenery.And people-don’t forget the people, they are the best!Don’t be scared that you might get robbed-I got robbed in New York, so what, I still love it!And go and visit Bucharest!After travelling all over the world, I still think it is one of the most fascinating cities in the world!And don’t forget about Poiana Brasov!You can;t miss that!You will love it!Every piece of it!
And yes, Romanian women are very beautiful, you will feel like you are watching a catwalk!But so are the men!So be prepared to fall in love!It happens to almost everyone that visited Romania!
Comment by eva — July 11, 2008 @ 7:57 pm |
Eva,
I just want to say thanks for your comments about Romanians; for articulating the fact that Romanians and our culture are worth knowing. It’s great to hear what you had to say!
Comment by papppy — July 13, 2008 @ 10:27 pm |
This page is great, thanks! I’m English, live in Italy, and I’ve been seeing a Romanian man for over a year, so when I found it by accident, I couldn’t stop reading
Being with him isn’t always easy; yes, he is very forthright and opinionated, as well as being a smoker (ugh); yes, he cheated on me and said it was ‘just sex’; yes, he’s independent but was obviously treated like a little prince at home, and is occasionally I still feel as if I’m getting to know him, though some would say I’ve been seeing him long enough!
I’ve dated men from different countries and found that you never really know what you’re getting…I’ve been treated like a princess, but I’ve had my fair share of disappointments, too.
We’re going to Romania soon, we’ll be visiting Bucarest and his hometown in the north-east. It’ll be interesting for sure…
Comment by Helvete — July 22, 2008 @ 6:37 pm |
Good site Good site Good site
Comment by 1111 — July 22, 2008 @ 7:53 pm |
Hi everyone,
I am a Romanian woman in my mid-twenties who lives in the US. After reading this, I can say that there are some characteristics that both Romanian men and women consistently have. The three I have found to be most common are: (1) being stubborn, (2) dominate, and (3) not as emotional.
I do have to say that I am shocked how Romanian men are portrayed. I do not know how they are over in Romania as I do not reside there, but I do know a lot here in the US that are well-rounded and decent. Sure, they still have some common characteristics, but they know how to treat a woman and some are in loving and caring relationships. Perhaps a lot has to do with how they were raised.
Some of you make it sound like they are horrible creatures that give men a bad name. I will agree that there are some like that in this world, but there across all cultures.
In regards to how attractive they are. Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. I know some ugly looking men and vice versa in all cultures.
Now here comes the tough question to answer. Would I marry a Romanian man? Although I do find Romanian men attractive and have many traits I like, I do not think I would be happy based on the experiences and interactions I have had. Mostly our personalities would clash. I am also a self-sufficient woman and raised in the American culture so I wonder how that would pan out for some of you Romanian men. Probably not well given how the Romanian culture is.
Nevertheless, based on what I have read from everyone, I do not have to worry about them hitting on me as I have undesirable qualities. Oh well, there goes another Romanian women to an American male…lol
Btw…I did read an article about men in Romania having to take a domestic violence class before they could get married. Come on guys, what is up with that? Just so you know, that is NOT a desirable quality we women look for in men. At least not me.
Comment by Ann — July 25, 2008 @ 7:30 am |
Hey Ann,
Re: would (should?)you marry a Romanian dude? You’re right, the North American culture (very individualistic – good and bad) is markedly different than the European cultures, and even more so than the Romanian culture. As a result, I would venture to suggest that you’re better off to get to know a Romanian who’s lived in the States for quite some time. Even better, if he’s the 2nd generation in. I think in many respects the culture differences and communication aspects are very difficult to overcome. A relationship like that requires a lot more nurturing due to these added elements. Of course, everything that I said assumes the fact that the guy and/or the girl are not complete morons, or neither do they have other emotional and psychological needs – all of which should not always be attributed to Romanians.
Comment by pappy — July 25, 2008 @ 6:51 pm |
Ann,
When I said emotional and psychological NEEDS, I meant ISSUES (SERIOUS ISSUES!)
Sorry, I assumed that you’re American born, but my comment still stands.
Comment by pappy — July 25, 2008 @ 6:54 pm |
Pappy,
Yes, I am American born. I do have relatives that still live in Romania but a lot live here now.
But anyway yes, I agree that culture differences can be hard to overcome and sometimes impossible. I do find it interesting that you mention 2nd generation in.
I still do stand by what I said. I’ve never seen the extent of what many have posted. Perhaps it’s safe to say that it’s better to be with one who has grown and lived in the American culture as oppossed to one who’s hasn’t.
Comment by Ann — July 25, 2008 @ 7:43 pm |
re: 2nd generation in; if you consider your parents being the first generation when they immigrated to the States, then you’d be the 2nd generation in. Or the first generation born in the States.
Yes. I agree, better to date a Romanian who’s been immersed into the American culture, rather than the alternative
Comment by pappy — July 29, 2008 @ 12:18 am |
hey John, the Mid Western American Serious Guy…
Here you have a Hot Portuguese Sweet Macho from the South of Portugal – you can not get more Latin, more Hot, more Cute and more Macho than this baby.
I have studied in Philadelhia and I am back to Europe – those American women are frigid like hell, excatly because they get used to guys like you!!! Romanian girls are just awesome. In every one week trip (I did 3 so far) I did got at least three awesome fun, positive, crazy and sexually bombastic girls.
I appreciate your anglo saxon comments… like:
“Most of us don’t pursue second and third sexual side-relationship.” – THIS IS NOT TRUE MXY FRIEND; JUST LOOK AT YOUR PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON…
“The American cliche is sitting home on the weekend watching sports non-stop” – THAT IS WHY THEY ARE FUCKING THE LATIN BOYS NEXT DOOR -) AND SOMETIMES BLACK GUYS WHEN LATIN MEN SEND YOUR WIFE TO GO HOME; BECAUSE THESE FRUSTRATED AMERICAN GIRLS ARE NOT EVEN WORTH IT…
“We are not us loose and volatile as the Latins as our blood is cooler Anglo” – “loose” LIKE WHATß WALKING ON THE STREET AND LOOK AT YOUR WIVES CHECKING MY COCK; BECAUSE THEY DONT SEE ONE FOR MONTHS? “volatile”? LIKE WHAT? A GUY WHO COMES A LOT?
CONCLUSION: It is still to be born a better breed of sexual man who can overcome the Portuguese Sweet Macho Man.
Send me questions to my “work” email…
I am visiting Romania once again in August 2008
delvicious@gmail.com
delicious & vicious man
Comment by cristiano ronaldo — August 1, 2008 @ 3:25 pm |
Wow! this blog is excellent! Well to my disgrace I was married to a Romanian guy. I do not recommend anyone to marry one, they are better off marrying another Romanian. They seem to have a drinking problem. Yes, they are cheaters, steal your money, liars and cynical.
At first they are the best thing that ever happened to you, but after they have you in their hands their true self comes out. Be very careful ladies, think twice before you get into a relationship.
Comment by Elizabeth Pascu — October 7, 2008 @ 5:49 am |
Romanian men to take anti-violence course
By Michael Leidig
Bucharest
April 26, 2005
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Romanian bridegrooms will have to take a three-day course to deter them from beating their wives under new laws to come into force next year.
National statistics on domestic violence published this year revealed that many men regarded a marriage licence as permission to beat their wives. Maria Muga, Romania’s Social Affairs and Family Planning Minister, described the problem as a threat to social stability and an evil that needed to be eradicated.
As an incentive, the Government will pay men who complete the course.
Men who refuse to attend will be refused permission to marry.
“We plan to invite sociologists, doctors and psychologists to explain the domestic violence law, and what sanctions the man might face if they abuse their wives or children,” Ms Muga said. Romania is under pressure to push through social reform as a condition of accession to the European Union in 2007.
Next year, about 120,000 prospective couples will be eligible for the course. While it will focus on telling men that it is illegal and wrong to attack their wives, women will also be told that they do not have to tolerate beatings and will be taught about their rights.
Advertisement
AdvertisementOfficials estimate that more than 340,000 children under the age of 14 have had to watch their mother being beaten. Only one woman in five seeks help.
Yet the Government’s plan has its critics. “Think about people living in the countryside,” said sociologist Andrei Popescu. “The counselling centres are all in cities and people will not want to take three days off work to stay in a hotel just to do a pointless course. It won’t work.”
In Bucharest, a city of 3 million people, there are only three shelters for abused women.
Dr Gabriela Kubinski, who runs a shelter at a textiles factory, said the classes were unlikely to do more than scratch the surface of the problem.
“The new plan has only one thing to recommend it, which is that after all these years of the problem being ignored, something is at least being done,” she said.
Of 10,000 female staff at the factory, one-third have suffered violence in the home.
“In Romania it is still generally accepted that once a couple are married, she becomes the property of her husband,” she said. “This mentality exists even among the educated classes where you would least expect it.”
- Telegraph
Comment by ALISON — October 8, 2008 @ 10:50 pm |
Pascu,
“…they are better off marrying another Romanian.” – isn’t your last name Romanian?
Comment by pappy — October 9, 2008 @ 7:23 pm |
the article is about romanians marrying each other not romanian men marrying women from abroad
Comment by alison — October 10, 2008 @ 7:16 pm |
It is funny to me that people say generalizations can not be made about people. Which I generally think too
BUT reading this post is like reading my own life written by other people
I am married to a Romanian man, and I want him gone. He makes my life miserable nothing is good for him and I can’t do anything without him bitching about it
I wouldn’t be suprized if he has cheated on me
IT is the culture he is from.
I wish I never married him and now I don’t know how to get rid of him becuase he is so controlling
as soon as I look unhappy he will be lovey for maybe one day and then when I’m trapped again he’s back to his bitchy self. I’m stuck and I hate it. I’m not religuous but I am praying for this to end well. I don’t have any hope for the future and I almost feel like there is nothing left for me to live for if he is always going to be running the show. Pray for me!
Comment by Isea — October 26, 2008 @ 12:17 pm |
Isea,
I would normally be all over your comments about your Romanian experiences and those generalizations, but I am more concerned about your cries for help. Whether you meant to say it or not, what I infer from your statement that you have nothing to live for is that you thought of ending your life has crossed your mind (maybe I am out to lunch…).
Isea, that’s not a rational thought and no marriage is worthwhile if it causes you to hurt yourself, others, or even killing yourself. WALK AWAY from it. I am not one to condone divorce in any way, please don’t get me wrong, but this is different. There is a living God, and there are many of His servants all around you and your area; look for a church or for a counselling office. THERE IS HOPE! You have to look outside your box!!!
All the best, and think of others in your life that truly love you before you do anything irreparable
Comment by pappy — October 27, 2008 @ 5:04 pm |
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Comment by spanky — October 28, 2008 @ 6:59 pm |
Sounds like a very interesting concept! I want make the best use of my sympathy ring I have a nice fresh joke for you people) How can you tell if a planet is married? It has a ring around it.
Comment by Arrapeoravy — November 2, 2008 @ 10:22 am |
Hi I have a Romanian friend i just met and i dont know how to approach him. We would hang out a lot but he is not very affectionate i mean i dont really know what he wants from me. He came from a small town dolj. So is there a difference with those men that came from the big cities and small ones? He seems really nice and such a gentleman.
Comment by Anj — November 15, 2008 @ 9:43 am |
Hi. I must say that reading these stories is like reading my own. I recently broke up with a Romanian man and it has been the most intense relationship of my life. He is still living in my house, renting a room, and I am still very much in love with him. When we first met he was charming, romantic, intelligent, worldly, and just seemed perfect. He is quite a bit older than I am but I never felt as though the age difference was a big deal. After abut 6 moths things began changing. He would yell a lot and can be quite intimidating. He hit me a couple times in the beginning but that stopped and never happened again after I moved out of our house. I will say that I have made my share of mistakes. The major ones were I lied to him about my new house and landlord and called the cops and got him arrested after he had dumped a beer on my head while we were both drunk and fighting. I am not the best housekeeper and a bit of a free-spirit and that infuriates him. He is always yelling because I don’t pay attention to meal times, and can be quite lazy, he also frequently tells me that I am “psycho” if I get over emotional and cry or yell. He rides me about my weight every chance he gets and I have lost weight since we met but he has gained probably fifty pounds. As far as the laziness goes, he has been out of work for quite a while and when I would get home from work he would expect me to cook and clean for him. Now that neither of us is working I don’t mind but since we broke up he is now willing to help. Figures, right? To some it up he has some very bad qualities… drinks too much, smokes too much, bad temper, very critical, very dominating, and extremely closed minded. I also fear that he may have cheated on me although he swears he has never even talked to another girl with bad intentions since we met. But he is also funny, intelligent, can be very sweet when he wants, generous, strong, can cook, and I find him very attractive. Despite his negative qualities I adore him and I can’t figure out why. I have never tolerated this from anyone before and never thought I would. He just has this magic and all I have to do is look at him smiling at me and my heart melts. We were supposed to get married and move to Romania to start a family. I was really looking forward to a big Orthodox wedding and a quite life in a small apartment in Bucharest. I was also dying to meet his family. I have tried to learn the language, how to cook some of the foods he grew up with and have done hours of research on the country. I find the culture (from what I read) to be enchanting and the country to be beautiful. I still have hope that we will work this out and find our way back together. If most Romanian men are like him then I could see how people would have a negative view of them but you have to see them for what they are and appreciate the positive qualities. It is all perception. I see his egotistical attitude as confidence and find it sexy. His domineering behavior as strength and always feel safe when with him because I know he will protect me from anything. The drinking I take for what it is and try to get him to stick to wine as much as possible and the smoking isn’t terrible; it kind of fits with his whole European style. I truly believe that most of his criticism comes from wanting to help me better myself but he should work on himself as much as he wants me to work on myself for it not to be so insulting. All and all, I think they are just a very direct culture. They are passionate people and can be quite loud and stubborn. I think they have good hearts but have learned to create distance so they won’t get hurt. My advice as strange as this sounds to anyone wanting to date a Romanian man is to treat him as a king. Be prepared to do the housework and cooking and show a great deal of gratitude if he helps you. I don’t see anything wrong with asking him to help but do not assume he will say yes and if he does make sure you are working at least as hard as him. Never question him on the way he is doing something or claim that you can do it better. Allow him to feel he is the head of his household and you will be put on a pedestal. Treat him as a king and he will make you his queen. Very simple. He said his mother once told him that “the man was the head of the house and the woman the neck that turns that head”. I figured all of this out a little to late and now am trying to convince him that I really do understand what he needs. He has said that his feelings for me haven’t changed but that he feels logically that we don’t fit and shouldn’t be together. At least I still have hope if he still loves me; I just have to get past that Romanian stubbornness.
Bottom line is that I feel the Romanian culture does create a certain type of man but that it is not necessarily a good or bad thing. These men react strongly to their environment and either the worst or the best of them will show. Appreciate a man for what he is and he will be a good man, regardless of rather he is Romanian or American. Treat him with caring, compassion, love, sincerity, and respect and he will treat you the same. If he doesn’t he isn’t a man, he’s a little boy.
Attack me if you like but that is my opinion.
Comment by Christy — November 24, 2008 @ 10:52 am |
Christy,
LOL!!! This has got to be a joke…!
Comment by pappy — November 24, 2008 @ 10:46 pm |
CHRISTY
YOUR STORY GAVE ME THE BEST LAUGH I HAVE EVER HAD FOR ALONG TIME, ARE REALLY SERIOUS. IS THIS A JOKE
YOU NEED HELP GIRL
Comment by Mary — November 27, 2008 @ 12:19 am |
You should write about friendships with romanians. I have a romanian friend and she is the weirdest person I know but also the most interesting.
Comment by Emma — November 28, 2008 @ 6:52 am |
I just came across this site after having an experience with a Romanian man in his 20’s. I am American and met him while on vacation. He worked where I was staying and every day he would make a point to come out and talk with myme and my relatives. He appeared very sincere, intelligent and mature for a man in his late 20’s. He was very respectful to me and I could tell he was interested in me even though he did not try to do anything. Just before the vacation ended he gave me a photo of himself and his email address and insisted that I write him, so I did. My email was very general and he immediately responded back by saying how beautiful, mature and intelligent I was. He then sent me an email every day expressing his “feelings” for me in a very strong way. As an American, I am not used to such bold statements of feelings from men. He continued this for about two months and kept insisting that I “share” my “feelings” about him with him. I was very cautious because I thought it was too good to be true…but I have to say, he wore me down with his daily emails and eventual phone calls in which he sounded so sincere and considerate and I eventually started to express my feelings to him. I eventually fell for the guy and we even made plans to visit each other. But then he went home to Romania…we continued to talk for several weeks and continued to make plans to visit each other. Then all of a sudden he backed off abruptly. Long story short, he went from very hot to very cold almost overnite. I then became curious and did some research. Come to find out he is on a Romanian website and is surfing for females and telling them the same things and was even doing this while he was emailing me. I wanted to know more about this virtual friends web so I surfed and found that they most of them seem to speak to each other in the same fashion on this website. Everyone tells the women how beautiful, interesting, and desirable they are. I also could tell that he is on this website like 8 hours a day! What’s up with that??!!! Even after all of this I was still very hurt by what this man had done to me, even more so by what I allowed him to do to me. I should have taken his advice when he started to “joke” around with me when he would say “be careful, be very careful of Romanians. They steal your heart and then break it.”
I just wanted to share my experience, not blame a whole culture for this man’s actions. I have dated other ethnic groups with similar sterotypes as Romanians (just to be clear-I do not believe in stereotyping) but I have to say he has been the hardest one to get over because of the way he “expressed” his thoughts and so called “feelings” toward me.
By the way, if the photos on the Romanian website are true, speaking as an American woman, the women are very beautiful!
Comment by Monique — January 12, 2009 @ 6:54 am |
I came here hoping to find insight on cultural differences when dating a Romanian but all I got were personal stories, albeit many of them amusing. I have started seeing a Romanian man (in the US, he immigrated here) and so far it’s been a great experience. He is not possessive, very sweet and affectionate, cooks for me, serves me, and is just as committed to cleaning as I am (in fact, if a blanket is on the floor, he will apologize for the mess!). He is all in all a genuinely nice person. He is from a small mountain town, not a city, and has only lived here for 5 years. I am even learning the language so we can fill in the communication gaps.
Not sure if anyone still reads or replies to this but I am still searching for advice on social differences. Is there ‘courting’? Is it more old fashioned? Are there certain expectations? He’s already invited me to come back home with him for a visit so I assume that it is going well!
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Comment by Anastasiaprostia — March 30, 2009 @ 6:34 pm |
I can only say that, when dating Romanian women, a foreign man must be very careful of the many Pro Daters out there. These are women who pretend love and promise marriage, but really only look to take as much as they can from a man. There are also cases of this happening with foreign women and Romanian men. Remember that in any society a polite woman will not ask for money or expensive gifts until you are married. If you spend more than 500 Euro on a woman, and she ends the relationship there is good chance you were victim of such woman. You must also remember a seldom known fact that all people prefer their own kind. If this was not so, then the small Romanian population would long ago have married entirely foreign and this is based purely on statistic of chance. Also men do not be fooled to think these women much younger than you will love you. They want only your money. Like all women they want attractive man not far from their age. I think anything more than 12 years difference is asking for trouble. I do not say can not happen love between good Romanian people and foreigner but is far less common than most people think. Also to those who claim Romanian are all cheaters, you know nothing about true culture here. Here are most people very faithful and take very serious religion. Drinking cheating and this sort behavior is mostly among poorest people who have very hard life and do such things to cover the pain they feel from their life. Do not judge them because their life often more horrifying ever than you can imagine. Romanian have high crime and theft rate but only because so many poor people. But considering how many poor people then we have very low rate for crime. Romanian are good people mostly. Just as most other people are mostly good people. To woman who claim marry Romanian man when she from US I think this very unlikely. Romanian man will not stand for most American women. From our view it is American woman who has no morals and live very loose life. Maybe also with American men is true. I think most Americans good people but they are not for us to love. Same for all of west. We not hate you but really we think all western peoples very strange. We have much different ways here. Best advice date your own kind. It much easier.
Comment by Val — May 3, 2009 @ 12:03 am |
In response to your reply I think you are wrong, Love has no bounderies and many people marry other people from different countries. I think you need to get into the 21st century. Yes people will marry their own kind as most people find love in their own backyard and do not travel the world looking for it. But this has got nothing to do with a clash of cultures.
In a country where the faith is strong people don’t really speak out and question their faith (why the world is in such a state – mostly to do wih religios beliefs may I add). In the West and America where faith is still there but it does not control our lives 24/7. I think this partly to do with the fact that alot of western people have seen such devastion (terroism attacks, people fighting over land, etc) under the name of their faith. That faith is there to be questioned and not strongly believed in as it is in Romania.
You have to realise that we far more progressed than you and our history is your present. We seen it all and become “Yeah whatever” to alot of things. Also I believe that women in the US and Western Europe are independent (not no morals) which parts of Eastern Europe have not comes to terms with yet and still treat their women as second class citizens who cannot think for themselves.
Comment by saz — May 3, 2009 @ 9:31 am |
“To woman who claim marry Romanian man when she from US I think this very unlikely. Romanian man will not stand for most American women. From our view it is American woman who has no morals and live very loose life. Maybe also with American men is true. I think most Americans good people but they are not for us to love. Same for all of west. We not hate you but really we think all western peoples very strange.”
WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! DO YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE IN THE WEST AND THE USA ARE BENEATH YOU TO LOVE AND MARRY WHAT MAKES YOU PERFECT.
WE ARE STRANGE AND HAVE NO MORALS TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELVES
IF ROMANIA AND ITS PEOPLE ARE GREAT THEN WHY DOES NOBODY WANT TO VISIT YOUR COUNTRY AND WHY DO YOU TREAT YOUR MENTALLY ILL LIKE CATTLE AND WHY IS YOUR COUNTRY IN SUCH A MESS
DO YOU REALLY THINK PEOPLE IN THE WEST WE WANT TO MARRY ROMANIANS (DREAM ON)
Comment by stevie — May 3, 2009 @ 11:11 am |